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How do you have "the talk" with an 8 yr old girl?

I am wondering if it might be time to have the talk about the changes the female body goes through with my daughter. I think her hormones are kicking in and I feel like I need to explain things to her. My mom never had this talk with me and I am so freaked out about it I do not even know how to have this talk.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • This is tough. Really, it should be a series of conversations, starting practically at birth, beginning with teaching your child the proper names for body parts and their functions.

    You do need to start, hormones start kicking in around 8, and your daughter needs to be reassured that she is not crazy, she just has (what we called) crazy big girl hormones.

    Let her lead the conversation, ask her what she knows (you may be surprised), and what she would like to know. It is ok to be uncomfortable, it is ok for your daughter to know that despite your discomfort, these are important conversations that will get easier with time (well, until you get to the banana and condom).

    If you think that your knowledge is a bit weak, go to the library and pick up a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves (you may want to buy a copy for your daughter in about four years).

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:04 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Isn't eight a little young for puberty? Is she getting hair and breasts? 


    Answer by louise2 at 9:57 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Eight seems a little young to be starting puberty. Hormones don't usually start kicking in until they're 11-12 years old. However, if you feel that it is the time to have this talk with your child, then sit her down and see what she knows already about this stuff. Then help fill in the blanks and answer her questions for her. If she isn't asking questions and being curious about it without you bringing it up, then I wouldn't go into it. Children usually get really curious and start asking questions when their body starts changing.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:21 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • There are great books for all age levels, no matter what her development level is. There are medical texts that have real-life photos. There are books designed for small children too. Amazon has TONS of sex education books. Your local book store most likely does too.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:53 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with having 'the talk' with your child. Eight IS young but kids are learning and hearing about sex so early these days. AND starting puberty. If you feel like she's old enough to understand it and developmentally ready, like the PP said, I'd get books -either buy them or get them from the library - maybe give her a book about her own changing body. Being a girl is hard so the more prepared she is, the better! LOL!

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 11:20 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Omg this scares me and my girl is not even two lol. Good luck.

    Of course you can discuss the whole puberty thing without having to get into the whole "sex" talk right? I think 8 is a bit young to know all about sex....yikes....

    Of course, my husband's 13 year old nephew has apparently gotten his girlfriend pregnant...which makes me want to throw up....

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 12:45 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • My mom told me about sex when I was nine. It kind of stuck in my brain for a long time, every time I would see an adult I would think about what he or she did with their spouse behind closed doors, and it kinda grossed me out. LOL!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I don't believe in "the talk" at all, it should be a subject that is discussed openly through out their lives, in my opinion the talk is awkward and makes it a special subject. When i asked questions my parents answered with honest answers that i could understand, there was never a need for the talk at all. I knew everything i had to know without ever having to sit down for "the talk"
    I don't think 8 is too young at all, in my opinion she should know some of this stuff already.

    Answer by Cynthje at 9:34 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • 8 is a good time to learn about boobs, hair, and periods. That way, she'll have time to think about it and get used to the idea before it hits her like a brick. I've talked to my 9 year old about it, well for years, but just recently got her the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You" that she likes. I'm saving the whole description of what consitutes sex until she starts her period.

    Answer by Pnukey at 3:13 PM on Dec. 17, 2009