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Mom to 3 almost 4 yr old needing parenting help.....

hello I'm new but needing lots of help our son is 3years and will be 4 yrs feb 14 yes he is a vday baby he was our vday present.When he was born he was born dead and with penumonia.He spent 4 days under an oxygen hood we couldn't hold him until day 4 around 12pm well he still had to spend 10 days from the day he was born in the hospital taking antibiotic shots.Well with the hard time we went through watching him be born and what he and us went through it is hard most of the time to discipline him.We have tried time out spankings talking to him telling him that what he done was wrong.He will abuse the dogs he grabs there tails there legs pinch's them just anything he can to hurt them and no matter what I do he goes right back and does it.Also my step grandfather's son and girlfriend is staying with us and they have pretty much taken over his room so he has no where to play or call his own.He won't sleep in his bed only with....

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Asked by angel1437 at 1:22 AM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (13)
  • so what do you need help with????? my second baby was born on v day he will turn one on feb 14th 2010 :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Sorry will finish up here....His grandparents or us.Most of the time he takes his anger out on my step grandfathers sons girlfriend.I don't why he will be sitting there and throw a toy at her or just walk up and knock the heck out of her.Also he is not potty trained he knows what to do and where to do it at it's just getting him to come to me or another adult and telling us when he has to go.If I ask him if he has to go he will say no but I take him in and put him on the potty anyway.He will sit there and not do anything then just as soon as he gets down and I put underwear on him he goes in them then I have to change him.Also I had him in head start and took him because he was also being abusive to the other children in there he would hit,bite,pinch,smack.He also took a basket of books one day picked them up and hit another child over the head with them.It really hurt her.We wonder sometimes if he has adhd or the other.

    Answer by angel1437 at 1:29 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • um yeah i would tell his doc all the problems you are having with him cuz something is wrong thats not normal and if your tellng him its not and you are takin him to the toilet not jus asking him and he pees when you take him off id tell the doc he could have something wrong with his brain

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • It is sometimes hard to keep his attention and if he is not sitting in front of tv watching it he is constantly up doing something now yes he will set in the floor some playing with toys but mostly up constatnly doing something.What we need help with is if anyone has went through this or has any advice we would be so thankful....Thanks in advance.Sorry so long just wanted to kinda explain what is going on as much as possible.

    Answer by angel1437 at 1:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • WE have asked the doctors and they say it's normal behavior for his age I sad no abusing other children and adults like he does is not normal.When I told him about taking him to the potty he said that boys will potty train when they are ready I said yeah but he should be showing sings that he wants to not just going in a pull up when he wants or his underwear then coming us and saying I had and accident in my pants I need to be changed.We had a meeting at center stone today mostly about his behavior and I had told her about what does when he potty's and she subjected a ct scan but when we ask the doctors they say it's not needed because he is a boy and will go when he is ready.

    Answer by angel1437 at 1:37 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Sounds like he learned the behavour from head start. He should not be hitting any one! Pick one thing and do it but and every one else has to be on the same page. It also sounds like he is not happy about having his own space!

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 1:41 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I can't help you with all your questions, but my son is 3, 4 in June and not totally potty trained. He's pretty good at peeing on the potty, but he will not poo on the potty. He knows how, he has done it, but he just won't. It is very frustrating, he'll even say (as I'm cleaning him up) "you like me pooing on the potty?". And I always tell him that yes I like him pooing on the potty and that I don't like it when he poos in his pants. Honestly I don't know, I think it's just something that he'll decide to do when he's ready, even though we think he's ready now.

    As for the behaviour, I don't know if he can be tested for adhd, but if he can then maybe do so. Otherwise you need to decide on a method of discipline, what behaviours warrent it, and then be consistent. I know sometimes it seems easier to let some things slide, but you really do need to be totally consistent for him to get the message. Con't

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:49 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • He didn't really start doing things like this till I put him in head start.As far as the potty training he's always done that.My aunt and cousin said he needs to be in there so that he can learn what he needs to for pre k next year.He has been in there since august.But he has learned his colors,shapes,numbers,alphabet here not there.We are also working on moving out so that he will have his own room again.

    Answer by angel1437 at 1:50 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • He will fight the new discipline, but you have to stick to your guns. And his dad and the other adults in the house need to be on board ... if you don't want the step grandson or whatever disciplining him, he at least needs to not be allowing the undesirable behaviours. And positive reinforcement. Lots of attention when he's considerate to others, when he nicely pets the dogs, when he's displays the behaviour you want him to show. Good luck.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:53 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • None of my sons did a headstart program. They had one year of pre school then went into a french immersion Kindergarten. They`ve done fine. My oldest is in grade 6 and doing well in his classes as well as being pretty fluent in french. My 3 yo doesn`t know all his shapes, letters, numbers, etc. I wouldn`t worry about the headstart. Really the only reason we do preschool is so that they got used to being around other kids in a school type setting, since my mil watched them and they weren't around other kids.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:57 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

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