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Daughter in tears again. Girl talking about her in class (whispering to another girl)and glancing at her. Help me help her?

This is the slacker girl from the group project(who my DD,15, told "get your priorities straight" and DD got reprimanded after girl's mom called the teacher) the 2 other girls who were in the group were asked by and told the teacher that the slacker was indeed not doing the work, but texting, etc. Slacker got reprimanded yesterday, and then was doing the whispering/glancing at my DD thing in the next class. The girl she was whispering to I found out, was a girl who my DD was hearing tell for all to hear about sex she had w/boys and told her "please stop I don't want to hear it" and this girl said"what are you, some Christian prude?" So, now my DD is in tears because she feels the slacker is out for revenge and is going to "make me look bad to people and they'll think less of me!"
The slacker's Mom is always bailing her out and the girl says my DD hates her and is mean to her. I don't know what to do~I said keep your distance.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (67)
  • Tell the principle. As childish as that sounds that is harassment. If you pursue it that "slacker" will be punished. The fact that your daughter feels the way she does is creating a hostel environment. the principle can do something about that. If he does not then take it to the superintendent

    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 8:06 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I agree with Mrs.Owen86. This is harrassment, plain and simple. It's sad when classmates can't or won't exercise some maturity and someone else has to point this out. You and your daughter are in my prayers, Hon.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 8:15 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • You are looking at potential long term issues as a result of this behavior. I agree your daughter needs to keep her distance and lay low. But you should def bring this to the principle. Let them deal with the problem kids, its their job.
    DisneyBride13

    Answer by DisneyBride13 at 8:25 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Just want to clarify that the slacker was whispering to a girl who previously called my DD a "prude" last week when my DD told her she didn't want to hear about her sexual exploits...just didn't know if that was clear...but the slacker was just adding fuel to the fire by whispering to this girl and glancing at my DD repeatedly during class...I'm afraid if I make a big deal of this, the girls will just be even more vengeful to my DD...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • In my opinion you have two choices here....

    1) Your DD handles it and deals with it. Personally, I would tell her to put her big girl panties on and either ignore them or take care of it! And no I don't condone fighting but the girls are not going to stop until your DD stands up for herself and stops them. They enjoy the reaction and hurt they give your DD.

    I was in your DD's shoes and the above is what my father told me and he was right!

    2) You take care of it and take a chance the girls will not get revenge on your DD. My father called the school repeatedly when I went thru it and the principal and teachers talked to the girls but they didn't stop because they didn't care!

    You and your DD are in my prayers and I am sending good strong thoughts your way. Good luck.
    RiverPhenix

    Answer by RiverPhenix at 8:52 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • MY 11 YR OLD DAUGHTER HAD THE SAME PROBLEM. THE BOYS IN HER CLASS WERE CALLING HER BAD NAMES AT RECESS SO WHEN WE HAD OUR LAST PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE WE INVITED THE PRINCIPLE TO THE MEETING AND I TOLD HER MY DAUGHTER WAS FAKING BEING SICK AND STAYING HOME SO SHE DIDNT HAVE TO BE CALLED NAMES!! WE TOLD HER JUST TO IGNORE THEM BUT IF THEY KEPT DOING IT SHE NEEDS TO TELL HER TEACHER OR AN ADULT IN HER SCHOOL AND THE PRINCIPLE TALKED TO THEM AND THEY HAVENT BOTHERED HER AGAIN!
    nancy155777

    Answer by nancy155777 at 8:58 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Get the guidancd counselor involved. Most are trained in this type of problem. I went thru the same thing last year. Guidance counselor brought them all in and they each got to say "Why?" this other person bothered them. Worked out a resolution. We haven't had the first bit of trouble this year.
    SoccerDiva09

    Answer by SoccerDiva09 at 9:09 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Don't Hold back do something now. This will only get worse if something isn't done now. Kids like that thrive on drama. If they can't get to your daughter the they will find another victim. Girls and boys like this have to be shown that this is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Don't let you daughter be pushed into defending her self against bullies like this, the out come of that could be far worse. I had a situation like this with my odest  child. I did not act on it because my daughter said that it would embarrass her. It kept going all the school year and resulted in a fight. The pent up frustration in my daughter came to a head and my daughter broke another girls that was apart of the click. The end result was that the original victim was punished.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • UGH- I hate this stuff. I have it in my classes all the time. For the life of me I have no idea why in some social situations the "naughty" kids rise to the top and the "doing the right thing" kids get left behind. There are no easy answers and the temptation to say something so totally unacceptable (for an adult) is huge. I bite my tongue and say " I know its hard now, but you are young for just a short period of time. The skills and personality you have will make you a success in the long run. Please hold on to who you are just a little while longer and you will be glad you did. You may think no one is watching you or thinks highly of you- but I do" This is usually followed by tears from the child. I think maybe the standards in some homes have hit an all time low. People equate popularity with power and power with success so as long as their kids are "popular" they can do no wrong. Its warped CONT
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 9:25 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • and makes teaching them difficult. I do find girls are much worse than boys. My children are boys so I have not experienced this with my kids. I am giving you my experience from being a teacher and watching this happen over and over again every year. I hope next year (or next semester) your daughter gets in classes with great kids. I have had classes that for whatever were amazing to each other and we had issue free years. I guess it comes down to luck and chemistry. hang in there!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 9:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

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