• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i feel so sad i dont know what to do!

ok me and my hubby been together for 2years now,sometimes if i see a girl ill ask him how does she look? just to see what he says and he says he dont like nobody,somtimes ill see him looking at a girl and when i look at him he'll look away.now last night i told him y cant you just tell me,and he told me this girl on the computer looked good and it got me kinda upset,i feel like i cant trust him i keep thinking he's gonna do somthing wrong. should i be worried? im so upset.how would you feel if your man did somthing like this? what would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Why keep asking him and then when he tells you, you get upset? You're going to make him not want to talk to you about anything. If he's going to do something wrong and he's got a history of cheating thats one thing. But it really sounds like youre pushing him a little too hard to be honest with you and then your reaction is not a good one. Why should he be honest if its going to upset you?
    Shyma

    Answer by Shyma at 9:39 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Tell him how you feel, Try not to think too much of it unless when or if it happens then feel this way it is not fair to you to go through feeling like this when nothing really happen or it may never happen. He told you he doesn't like no body but you so go with that. The day something does go wrong then cut his thing off...lol one for cheating and the other for lying. GL Just try not to make a big thing over nothing.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:41 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I probably would of felt the same way when I first got married, but now I LOVE the fact that DH is so open with me. He can say "oh she's pretty" and it doesn't hurt me lol because I know he finds me more attractive.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 9:42 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • It sounds like you don't have enough confidence in yourself to keep him. You should work on that. It's not about him looking. It's about how you feel about yourself. If you know you rock and treat him the way he wants to be treated he won't go anywhere.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I don't understand. Why do you ask him about what he thinks of other women if it's just going to hurt your feelings? You walked yourself right into this mess.

    FYI, there are MILLIONS of beautiful people in this world. It is not a sin to think that someone is attractive. It does not mean that he has a crish on that person. you need to work on your own self esteem. Women who feel good about themselves no matter what seem more attactive to men than the ones who are incredibally insecure.

    This kinf of behavior turns men off. Do not ask him what he thinks of another woman just so that you can turn it around on him & get upset.That is not fare to him at all.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:31 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • SO, just because he thinks a famale online was pretty, you are going to jump to conclusions & not trust him? HELLO! Men are men, you cannot change the fact that they will always look at women, even the ugly ones! It's human nature....even us women look at other hot women. Its not that big of a deal, & no reason for you to not trust him.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • WhywhyWHY do some women do this stuff?!? Seriously, you dishonor women everywhere when you beg and beg and beg for the truth and then bitch when you get it. You asked your husband "Why can't you tell me?" Well Sweet Cheeks, I think you have the answer to that one; he didn't want to tell you because he knew you were going to be a Neo Maxi Zoon Dweebie about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Never ask a question you don't want the answer to. You told him to tell you what he thought of her, he did. Now you're upset. Not fair. If you wanted him to lie to you and tell you he thought she was horribly unattractive and he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole, you should have told him that. I won't ask my boyfriend what he thinks of another woman, b/c I know that if he says she's attractive, it will hurt my feelings. So I just don't ask, just as he doesn't ask me if I think another man is attractive. We know we love each other and want each other and are attracted to each other, so a passing attraction to someone else isn't something we feel we need to discuss. You need to decide if you really want to know, and if you don't, then don't ask the question. If you're going to ask the question, then be prepared to hear and deal with an answer you may not really like.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:17 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • You just trapped your DH into telling you so you could justify your not trusting him. That's not cool, not cool at all. Clearly he had justified reason not to tell you who he found attractive, because you just turned it around on him when he finally did tell you. If you didn't really want to know, then you shouldn't have pushed so hard for him to tell you. You're insecure, clearly, and you're using him as an excuse to justify you feeling this way. It's on you that you're upset, and it's on you that you're feeling that he's going to be unfaithful. You can't expect a man, any man not to find other women attractive. You know very well that you find other men attractive, but that doesn't mean that you're going to cheat. Does it? You created this situation intentionally out of insecurity. Don't put it on him, because he did nothing wrong.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:35 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Sweetie I don't know how old you are, but Trust is the key to a good relationship! If you cannot trust your hubby simply because he has a wandering eye then you need to find self confidence in yourself! He is married to you after all. Not to mention he is not dead..just because he is a taken man does not mean he is not going to notice a pretty or attractive woman! Looking is nothing to worry about we all do it from time to time, it is a natural part of life. Next you are asking your man loaded questions that you really do not want the answer to...so if you are not ready for the truth stop asking the question! If you ask what he likes about a certain person, you probably go and compair yourself only to find you are different in this area and get mad and your feelings hurt. just an example of what a loaded question is. There are plenty of books out there that I think you would benifit from reading!
    PrincessJenna

    Answer by PrincessJenna at 12:37 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.