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What do you do at the Holidays if your husband doesn't want to be around your family?

My husband and I separated last year. There were harsh words spoken from my parents because he kicked me and the boys out on a winter night. That is the past and my husband and I are back together. He still won't go around my family. My family has forgave and they want to move on. He is carrying a big chip on his shoulder. I sort of see his point, but even though his family were mad at me, I still go to all of their functions. I really want my husband to be at my family Christmas party. They want him there too...but I can't get him to come around. Any suggestions?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Put it direct and honest .. "We are all moving on from what was said and done. You have the choice to act like an adult and come with us, or continue to be a child and sit at home and sulk. I would like you to join OUR family in celebrating this Holiday. You don't have to agree with my family, you don't have to like them, but I do expect you to be civil and respectful to them." I wouldn't let him get out of it easily. Put your foot down and give him one choice. It is ultimately up to him, and he has the right to stay home if he so chooses.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:20 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Tell him to get over it, If he cant go to your family functions why should you go to his? He's got to be the bigger person and try to be a family as far as his inlaws go, life is too short to hold grudges!

    Answer by Shyma at 11:13 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • He screwed up, not them. I just think he don't want to be there.
    It is an excuse.

    You enjoy your holidays with your family, your kids and you deserve it!!!

    Happy Holidays, and Good Luck!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:15 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I like JazzlikeMraz's answer. I would also remind him that HIS family was mad at you, but you still go to all HIS family doings. Tell him that in order for the 2 of you to fully put the past behind you and move on to your future, HE needs to 'forgive and forget' and make peace with your family and attend the holiday.
    Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:27 AM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Thank you all. I knew what needed to be done, but I didn't know what to say to get it done. You all have given me great ideas! Happy Holidays to you all!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Dec. 17, 2009