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Have you ever had feelings for someone else while in a relationship?

Please keep comments clean and respectful.

My very first boyfriend and I broke up after 11months of dating. We remained friends and grew to become best friends over the last seven years. He ended the relationship, which was a good call. We were both young and I especially was too immature to be in a relationship. However, over the years we've still had feelings for one another. We never got back together due to either one of us being in a relationship when the other wasn't, or we weren't talking. (We've had our moments of negativity, but eventually worked them out) Now I'm married. I've been with my husband for almost three years and married for 1.5. However, I still very much have feelings for my best friend. If you've been in this situation ... How did you handle the situation? If anything. Please keep all comments nonjudgemental and clean. Thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • It is obvious you still have feelings for him. But you should leave it at that, just feelings. Dont try to pursue them and make something more out of it. You are a married woman now. Your heart belongs to someone else. Old flames will never die but the new ones will last a lifetime. Enjoy married life and enjoy your husband. One thing that is wrong with the past, it will always sneak up on ya even at difficult times. But in my opinion, leave the past alone and concentrate on making a new life with your husband. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.


    Answer by vdr1983 at 2:13 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • i never got over my ex BF...he was the one i wanted to spend my life with 10 years ago, we went our seperate ways and now 10 years later i finally got in contact with him (for a good reason), he needed some questions to be answered and admitted the flame never went away. he's married w 3 kids and i am with 4. it will never happen with the 2 of us getting together and getting married like we wanted to 10 years ago but at least we are friends now aside from the selfishness from his brother and my sister whom thought that somehow we'd screw up our marriages because of the love we had for each other. they were wrong, we needed closure and my idiot sis and his brother wouldnt let us have it.

    the only way i can handle it is to talk about your feelings and why and what happen 10 yrs ago, nothing more then that should come out of it.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I was in a very similar situation and found that no matter how much it hurt I needed to cut off/severely limit my contact with my friend. It sucks to lose a good friend, but it would suck more to lose your husband. You committed to your husband and he deserves no less than 100% of your devotion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I'm not experiencing this personally, but I just had to put in my two cents. lol. I think if you two were supposed to be together after all those would have found a way. Somebody would have waited, broken up with someone else, something...and that didn't happen. You fell in love with someone else. There may also be that slight little "what if", but just remind yourself that if it was in the cards for you two, it would happened a long time ago. You wouldn't have fallen for another man hard enough to walk down the aisle. (AT least, I HOPE you love the guy.) Don't feel too guilty. We all experience "greener grass syndrome" from time to time and wonder about this guy or this situation...but at the end of the day he farts in bed just like the rest of them and it's not worth throwing away real love for a lingering doubt for someone you aren't meant for. Good luck!

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 3:47 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • "but at the end of the day he farts in bed just like the rest of them"

    LOLOLOL! Thanks for making me laugh, that was great!

    Y'all need closure. And i think you BOTH are perpetuating this. One of you needs to put your foot down & say that it needs to stop. Don't talk to him anymore. If you guys are ment to be like Erin said, the you would be together. So, for now, just drop it & let it go. It can be hard, but i have been where you are & trust me....over time you will forget & wonder why you ever felt that way. Let him go & accept that there is no "what if"...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:24 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

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