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What's your advice about resuming intimacy after having a baby?

I'm 3 months post partum and getting back into the swing of things. It doesn't really hurt anymore, just sensitive, and I'm so nervous I can't enjoy it. Also so loose down there, I think it takes more work for DH to get off, which is more activity and more scary! Will it get better if we keep trying, or better if we wait? Will I tighten up any? I learned SO MUCH about pregnancy, childbirth, and child-raising, but somehow no one said much about resuming sex again!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Health

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Answers (5)
  • i would wait till ur body is ready.. ur body will tigten back up .. just give ur self time.. when u do have sex please please use condoms..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Wow, maybe they didn't sew you up tight enough. I'm just opposite, I'm too tight, its so painful everytime my DH goes in me. Sex didn't really hurt when I lost my virginity, but this is worse that losing my virginity, I'm too tight and it hurts so bad. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • From OP: Yes! We're using condoms! That's to bad PP. How long since you had your baby? Sex was really painful for me at like 9 weeks when we tried. I have heard of people getting sewed up too tight.
    I feel like I'm loose all the way inside, though, not just where I was sewed. I only had a tiny tear.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Well I didn't need to be sewn up and I felt very loose until about 12 months PP with both my kids. After that it started feeling a little tighter for me. If you are nursing the hormones from that can kill your sex drive and that may be part of the problem. I know it was for me. As for the being loose taking him more to get off I helped and got him very close outside before hand and that helped me relax a little more too. As to the first poster who cares if she is using condoms. My DH and I never have and I would be offended by someone assuming things about our relationship and telling me to please use condoms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Anon 2:14 here. I had my DD 16 months ago and I'm still real tight and have to use lots and lots of lube. I want to go get checked out, but don't have health insurance anymore after getting laid off. It is possibly true what 7:29 says 'cause I just finished breastfeeding 5 days ago so I'm hoping sex will maybe feel better and I won't be as dry. Oh and yeah if you had a tiny tear they probably didn't have to sew you up much. I had a 3rd degree tear, so I had lots of stiches.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Dec. 17, 2009