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How do I not lose my temper on my toddler and not fall apart at the seems?

I snapped at my 20 month old this evening. She is just into everything and anything. It doesn't matter if it is high up or hidden. She is a danger magnet. She managed to get out the front door this week. I can't really CLEAN my house because I have know where she is at all times. I am having insomnia cause life right now is crazy. My husband is in the military and brings A LOT of stress in my house. So my patience is much lower.

 
AngiDas

Asked by AngiDas at 8:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,898 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • We babyproof life threatening things. Door have high locks on them. Cabinets with cleaning supplies have locks. Now, we don't lock it all up, like the bathroom cabinet that just has tp, we don't worry about that. However, you might want to consider it for your sanity. As far as cleaning... it isn't going to be perfect, or anywhere near your standard for a few years. It's hard for me, too.

    And do get the insomnia treated. It'll make a huge difference.You probably wouldn't need a sleeping pill (though nothing wrong with it!), but maybe an antianxiety at bed, or something herbal. I have used melatonin for myself, and my husband uses it when switching from night shift to day shift. It works pretty well for us.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I have a ton of gates up so I can keep mine in the same room with me while I'm cleaning. She is a little busy body too. As far as you stressing out, maybe you should just wait until her nap times to try and get your cleaning done. I know it's hard. Good luck.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • You need to childproof your home!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • get some gates, baby proof, take a deep breath anytime you feel anxious, she is a baby and you are the adult. try and remember that and you will be fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Hi. I'm a fellow insomniac with a toddler.

    1) Seek some form of treatment for the insomnia - because nothing makes you edgier than that lack of sleep.

    2) Accept that toddlers are going to push your buttons, and that your house won't be utterly spotless - that's just part of the package deal of a toddler.

    3) Get at least one safe room or place for your kid (crib, or in their own room) that you can put them in when you're about to lose it...walk away for some deep breathing if you need to.

    4) It's not to early to think of discipline or teaching methods...counting, saying "uh oh," little time out sessions - these things can replace yelling. With some short time outs my girl learned around 20 months that she's not allowed to climb on the table.

    5) Find something that helps you feel okay in the chaos. When my girl is throwing epic tantrums, I start singing calming songs to myself which helps keep me together.

    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 11:20 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I also have gates and he is never in a room I am not in. Don't feel like you are a bad mom, we all have snapped at our kids at one time or another and felt at our wits end. If you need to, put her in a safe place; her bed, in a gated room... and walk away for a couple minutes to breathe.

    You also should put locks high on doors and cabinets. There are external locks, hook and eye kits you can get for the doors so she does not get outside and get hurt. But baby proofing is SO important. Locks on anything she can get into, fragile things put AWAY. If you have book shelves or anything, take everything OFF the first several shelves and put a few of her toys/books on them so she has something she CAN get into with no consequence. Take a couple hours one day (tomorrow) and go through and baby proof and get a couple gates. There are even ones for wide doorways (we have to use those). It will get better, just be consistent.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 11:21 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • And yes, you can begin some discipline at this age. They are a lot smarter than we usually give them credit for. I began these sessions when our son was probably 15 - 20 months. I would place him in a corner for 1 minute. (generally 1 minute per year of age). Then once he was up, it was over. I continue this now and he is 2 1/2. He KNOWS what that corner means. Now we have developed the process, after I get him up after 2 minutes (he is not allowed to get up without me) I tell him why I put him there, have him say 'sorry' and give me a hug. Then it is over. No dwelling on it.

    BE CONSISTENT!
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 11:25 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Be consistant, childproof your home, put up gates, and mama if nothing else works, make her a bubble bath, and you sit on the toilet with the lid down and have a good cry. It's ok, we have all been there but you are the mom. Also look into a mothers day out program or a morning preschool and grab time for yourself. good luck mama, been there, done that. Congrats on the toddler!
    SEEKEROFSHELLS

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 12:03 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • u think that u can't take it NOW just wait til she's 8-9 the yween yrs that's when the're HORRIBLE & u REALLY have 2 have patience. i have a 9yr ols son that i just wanna kill sometimes but --- i have 2 remember that he's a child & he's gonna try me worst thing is he's not even my biological son ... i have a 17 yr lod daughter that's MINE that has NEVER given me even half the grief that this kid is giving me ... just remember ME when u think that u're gonna lose it some1 is always n a worst position the ur...lol. have patience that 2 shall past...
    divana973

    Answer by divana973 at 12:12 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • sorry 4 all of the mistakes i was rushing didn't want his fayher 2 c what i was writing about him .. that's the stuff that i have 2 go thru..

    divana973

    Answer by divana973 at 12:17 AM on Dec. 18, 2009