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How can I trust him again after he left me to go live with his meddling mother?

I had an unexpected pregnancy, and my SO at the time promised me that we would take care of the baby together. He kept his promise throughout the pregnancy, even though his mother caused a lot of problems in our relationship.

After the baby was born, I was doing almost all of the work in taking care of her, as well as taking care of the apartment, doing laundry, etc. Of course I was a bit irritated and cranky, and sleep deprived. My SO (who wasn't working at the time), went back to being a single man: staying up all night online, sleeping all day.

One day, he stayed the night at his mom's house. The next day, they both came over. Well, she stayed by the car. He collected his belongings and moved out, leaving me to take care of a 2 month old baby. We broke up, and although we are friends, things are not the same. Our dd is now 18 mos old.

He wants to be a couple again, but how can I ever trust him again?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You can't. He's never gonna grow up and be a man. Who wants to be with a loser like that anyways? He sounds like one of those kids who had his mom bathing him till he was like 12 ;) Do you WANT him back? If you do, give your head a shake. He's not gonna be any different than before. Boys like that never change, especially when their mommy is still around to wipe their asses for them if they have an accident.

    Find yourself a good'll be way better off without that jerk.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:31 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • The first question is do you even love him anymore? The second thing is, there is not one single good reason you need to jump back in a relationship with him just because he says he's interested. If you would like to see how things would go I suggest taking it very slow. He needs to prove himself to you BIG TIME! He needs to be a good father before you give him any hint of a relationship between the two of you. If he is truely interested he will put in the time and prove himself. And this is going to take a long time, months, not weeks. And don't you dare let him move back in with you!! NONONONONO!

    And not to mention his bitch of a mother. What in the hell is that all about? No wonder he just ups and leaves his responsibilites his own mother don't teach him any different. It's no excuse for him but it makes he look like a complete ass!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • i wouldn't trust him. he doesn't deserve you because he isn't a man. they say that it takes a boy to make a baby but a man to take care of her. that's what he is a boy. i can't believe considered himself single and not a father. im sorry you had to be a single mother. i agree don't let him move back in. if he truly wants to be with you he will try his best to prove to you what a good father he should be. in my opinion he isn't worth your time because you deserve better and so does your daughter.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 10:19 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • Does he still live with his mother? If so, not to be mean or anything but he may be trying to use you to get outta there. I also agree with the other post, and if you decide to get back with him you need to proceed with caution, maybe even make him prove himself, by dating you first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • I wouldn't trust this Mama's boy, he's troublr so is his Mama.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

  • i had an ex like this, no kids invovled but omg mamas boy wicked bad!! he left me not once but twice both times because of his mama, then when he found out i was 3 weeks away from getting married and he saw my with my now hubby he freaked out, he wanted me to leave my hubby and go back to him, he even had a mutal friend try to find out where the wedding was so he could show up and put a stop to it!! he may be serious and he may mean it, but i agree IF you do want to work things out you need to make him prove himself first, i dont know how old you are or he is but if you guys are young he may have freaked about being daddy and not having a job and not being able to support his family, does he have a job now?

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2009