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How could I get a straight answer from my boyfriend?

Ever since I lost my second child (my boyfriends 1st) my boyfriend has been acting distant. I will ask him what is wrong and he will say nothing and change the subject real quick. I know it is bothering him, but is he mad at me for miscarrying? or is he just upset that we miscarried? It is starting to worry me, and he is even pulling away from spending time with me. I love him and dont want to lose him, but idk how much more i can take.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I'd say he's just upset that there was a miscarriage, period.

    Back off. Just let him be. He'll come to you in good time.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:12 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • He is grieving. Loss of a child often takes a toll on people's relationships. If you two are going to weather this, you might have to look at it from the perspective of his grieving, and not about your relationship.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:36 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Men often grieve differently than women do. They usually act distant for a while and may even seem like they're angry or like they don't care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Men grieve  differently from us. They do eventually open up but only when they are ready. Hang in there and let him be.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:13 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Unless you are into drugs, or drinking while you were pregnant..
    then ill agree with the other posters, its probly just because hes upset.
    But if u miscarried cause of drugs or something, thats probly why hes mad, and i wouldne blame him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Have you asked him all of these questions? Men react better to direct questions.

    I am sorry for your loss.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:22 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • It is possible that he has been awakened to the fact that sex can result in children and perhaps even to responsibility. A man who isn't willing to commit to you in marriage is not interested in being a father either. So he is probably thinking about the possibility of child support and someone actually thinking he should be responsible for anything other than himself. He's not going to tell you that. Women tend to get into relationships with these kinds of guys thinking about them as if they were married. That is not the way the men look at them. They see them as a chance to have free sex and a mother to take care of them in other ways, too. What a great life for them!! When the reality of the possibility of someone's thinking they should take on responsibility rears its ugly head, then they start having second thoughts. That's likely where your boyfriend is right now. He's weighing his options and will likely flee.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I wrote this question, and there was no drugs or anything. We both wanted another baby... we were jsut doing things a little out of order... I have a promise ring, and we will eventually get married. We just decided not to ruin a good thing with marriage. I just got out of a divorce, and he just got out of a realationship where he was cheated on. we have been togeather almost a year.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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