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Why PAPs?

In another post, it was said that if someone is hoping to adopt, instead of adopting, they should give their life savings ($10k or whatever amount) or loaned amount to an absolute stranger so that they can keep the child that they are placing for adoption and then remain childless themselves.

If you follow that theory:
- Infertile women should give away all of their money to planned parenthood to increase abortions and birth control and not have invitro.
- Any person who needs to buy a home should take their $30k deposit and give it to the homeless population and not get a home.

I can go on and on…

Why is it that if I cant get pregnant myself, I need to give away all of my money to someone who got pregnant when they shouldn’t have?

Why are PAParents the assigned charity?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • As long as you're not stealing someone's child but are adopting a child that the birth mother is placing for adoption, then you are not doing anything wrong. It is not your decision to make whether or not someone should parent their child or place the child for adoption. But the idea that you should remain childless whether you want to or not sounds ridiculous.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • There are a lot more reasons than just finances for a women to give her baby up for adoption......Ignore those that have rude things to say and more forward with your plans. Im sure you will be a great mommy some day!
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 12:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Alot of totally crazy things get posted here. That would be one example.. I'm with christyq, ignore it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • You don't have to give anyone money if you don't want to.
    However, is it morally acceptable to take a woman's baby who is struggling financially and wants to keep her baby instead of helping her? I personally do not think Jesus would condone such a practice. Illustrates this point perfectly with the rich man and the pig story. And no I'm not saying babies are like pigs. But the point was don't take advantage of someone's poverty.

    Mistakes happen. They just do, but no mother and child should be separated because of poverty. That is just wrong. And if you take that child, then yes, you are operating in an unethical manner and are taking advantage of someone in need.

    It doesn't matter if you can't get pregnant. Infertility does not entitle you to a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Yes, just ignore soem of the rude commenst on here, there tends to be quite a few of women on here who had to or chosen to give their babty up for adopton and because of that they tend to resent adoptive parents. I've read several extremely nasty comments about adoption from these women. Just by hearing some of these, thank god they gave their baby up, otherwise I would feel sorry for that child.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • "who had to or chosen to give their babty up for adopton and because of that they tend to resent adoptive parents"

    it's very interesting how everyone wants to believe the mother 'chose' to give her baby up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • "Why is it that if I cant get pregnant myself, I need to give away all of my money to someone who got pregnant when they shouldn’t have?"

    i think you have subconscious anger about the idea of someone else being able to do something you can't. which is just happening to extend to the idea of adoption.

    i think it's a valid thing to be angry about. but i don't think that adoption justifies it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • "it's very interesting how everyone wants to believe the mother 'chose' to give her baby up."

    In SOME cases, the mother does choose and is not coerced. In SOME cases, she (for whatever reasons) chooses not to parent. In SOME cases, the mother did not choose to place her child. We need to be careful about making generalized statements as though they apply in every case. Every case is different.

    BTW, OP, I don't think your anger is subconscious because of infertility, but very conscious because someone else wants to choose for you how to spend your money in what they deem to be an ethical way.

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • http://adoptiontruth-casjoh.blogspot.com/
    OP I think you need to read this blog post
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I am a mom through adoption and I have never been angry at those who can have children, nor jealous. Not even at women who have many children or women who are considered to have lower income households who have children. I believe it is every woman's right to choose her sexual and reproductive needs. But I am also as liberal as they come. Just as I hate when someone says you need to have more children (because you only have one child) I also dislike when someone says you need to stop having children because you have too many (such as the Duggers). People have always been judgemental of women as if women in general do not have the intelligence to know what is best for them. As for me, I trust women.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:27 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

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