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Do they need to know everything?

Do you think your kid(s)need to know everything that mommy experienced when she was younger?
I want to be honest but come on somethings need to be private Imo!

 
starestrada

Asked by starestrada at 3:01 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,172 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Nope!! I was really REALLY difficult as a kid. Being naughty, telling the exact opposite of what I was supposed to do, skipping school etc.. If my daughters ask, I'll tell them as every kid I had my "bad" moments, but I was easy..! :P
    lovemytwinsters

    Answer by lovemytwinsters at 3:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • No, I plan on keeping my premarital life SECRET from my kids!!! They don't need to know what I did.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I found out the hard way not to tell your kids anything about your past. Especially if you did some things you do not want them to do.


     Lets just say I told my oldest DD a lot of things about the past. She turned it on me when she got older. that made me not tell my youngest anything about my past.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Yeah. Teenagers. "You did it, so why can't I?"
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 3:15 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • EVERYONE learns on their own terms, really.
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 3:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Honestly, I have every intention of being completely open about my life to him. First off, I'm really not ashamed of anything I've done, and secondly, I think the more open you are about things like alcohol, drugs, and sex, the least likely they are to "experiment". It's the way I was raised, and even though I know they still have to make their own mistakes, I'm going to be sure my son has ALL the information he could possibly need.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:38 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Anouck: I hope that information doesn't include mommy used drugs, had sex with a bunch of guys, liked to drink, etc. (I don't know that was the case but I hope if it was, that info isn't shared with your kids) I mean there are ways of teaching our children acceptable behavior and accountability without getting into "hypocritical you" How can you tell me smoking is bad if you yourself smoke kind of thing.

    Somebody made an argument that yes I did all of those things but because I did it and experience it I can give advice to my kids in the subject. I found that argument stupid to say the least is like arguing that somebody needed to shoot herself in the foot with a gun in order to know it was a bad idea.

    I will teach my child all the things he will need to make informed decisions and smart ones I think if you did those things and share it with your kids you loose "credibility and role model" position in their eyes.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 3:56 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • No, I see no reason to get into what happen 10,15 or 20 years ago. Why would you do that anyways?
    mommorgan

    Answer by mommorgan at 4:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Bebita, you need to understand where and how I was raised. I grew up in a very liberal country. It's legal to drink at 16, marijuana is legal, and people are a lot more open about sex and everything that goes with that. However, the teenage pregnancy rate, teenage drug/alcohol addiction and other teenage issues are a LOT lower than they are here. Why? Because by making those things legal, or having information readily accessible, they took the "thrill" out if it. Yeah, I had a drink here and there when I was 16, but I NEVER got drunk. I experimented with marijuana once or twice, didn't care for it, and never touched it again. Yes, I've had sex with more than one guy. But I never got an STD, and I never got pregnant. NOTHING I did was ever out of rebellion, or trying to be cool, so personally, I have no regrets, and I don't see anything wrong with what I've done.

    So yes, I'll be honest with my son. Information is power...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:28 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I will tell them selected information. Especially if my story relates to what they're going through. I have a pretty boring past, as I sheltered myself and was a very quiet and introverted kid growing up. I didn't experiement with much and only had a handful of boyfriends, so there's not much to tell. However, if my kids ask I will tell them the parts that are appropriate, and especially tell stories that relate to their stories. I think it helps kids feel closer to their parents and helps them understand that their parents understand.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:32 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

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