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Please help, state help, baby daddy situation...

So when my son was born, I told the state that the father was unknown so that they would not go after him for child support. THe reason I did this is because I knew that he would just want to take my son bc he was paying for him (kinda like, ok well i bought the shirt might as well wear the shirt out to the club tonight, type of comparison in his mind) and not becaues he actually cared about him. So we had a deal out of court, basically, i took care of the baby and he did nothing, and he paid me whenever he felt like it. now it has been three months and he hasnt paid or done anything, i actually figured he just didnt want anything to do with him bc he had only seen him a few times here and there since he was born. Hes now almost 11 months.
so I do get help from the state for food and insurance, but i am in school and was planning on only being on state funds for another year, tops.
Now my sons father wants ... (cont.)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (18)
  • to pay for him and have him legally be his son so he can provide insurance and all of that...and now i am worried that since i lied about not knowing who the father was, and i get state help, that i will get in serious trouble.
    can i do anything to fix this? i do not wan tto go to jail. I just wanted what was best for my son.
    should i just cancel all of my state aid in case that my sons father does file for a paternity test. I am not sure why he would do this considering i have not kept him from seeing his son, and I also do not bug him for money. why he would now want to make things difficult for himself I do not understand, bc i know that he would probably end u phaving to pay a large amount in child support if he goes this route.
    any guidance would be appreciated thank you

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Can you call anonymously and ask about what might happen if you finally tell the truth.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Once you apply for assistance the state will go after the father for child support and insurance on the child, as they should. Generally if you refuse then you will not be able to continue assistance. And there is no reason why the father should not pay support for the child, it more then likely means you will have to recieve less support from the state and he needs to be a man and take care of his responsiblity.. Good luck!

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • You wont go to jail for saying you didnt know who the dad is. ALOT of people dont know. You need to get a very good lawyer. contact legal aid in your area. My sons father didnt want anything to do with my son for 3 years and then decided he wanted to be daddy and LIED in court to get rights. Get a good laywer NOW dont let him intimidate you! Be strong and fight like heck

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 3:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • ^^ That is NOT true. I had foodstamps and insurence for a little while with my son and they DID NOT go after my ex for child support and he WAS on the BC

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 3:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • OP here....What I am saying is that, I told them I did not know who he was, and now if we go to court he can prove that I DID know who the father is, so that means I got money from the state when the father should have been actually paying. this is where I have went against the law.

    Answer by CurvyMommato1 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • You just tell the PA that he is one of the guys you were messing around with at the time of conception. he wanted to know if the kid is his, and by chance it is. You shouldn't have an issue with PA about it.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • you will not go to jail- tell them that you believe you know who the father may be, but were unsure at the time. a paternity test will be done, HE (the father) may be liable to pay back support and pay back some of the funds you have received. but it is highly unlikely that you will have any trouble... he NEEDS to be paying support, and if the only way to make that happen is to go to court, well, so be it. he is the father, and should be held responsible. at ANY time, you can call your case worker and say "hey, i have been thinking about it a lot... and i think i may have an idea of who that father could be. I think I may have tracked THEM down" and you can report the info, and they will file a motion/petition to have a paternity test done. this would take care of all of the issues involved.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:25 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • okay that sounds easy enough, but I do not want to take the action unles he is going to. Honestly I do not want a dime from him and I want nothing to do with a guy who has been such a shithead up until this point. my son deserves better than someone who just gets drunk and gets in fights at bars.

    Answer by CurvyMommato1 at 3:26 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Ok I just read the rest of your quesion after you posted the 1st reply to this. I would simply contact your case worker and tell them the truth, or at least tell them that you think you may know who the father is. Your local prosecutor will be the one that goes after him for child support,because you recieve assistance there is no charge for this. Honestly, there is no reason he should not pay for the support. My own son was 5 before I recieved support, my choice and I wish I would have done it sooner.

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:27 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

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