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How do i prove to him..........?

Me and my fiance have been together 4 years, i had a really good friend and my fiance never liked her, when we broke up a few years back me and this friend went out and partied and stuff, well when we got back together my fiance told me i couldnt hang out with her or anything anymre so i stopped bc i didnt want to lose him. Well I dont have any friends anymore, i need some friends to help me out i have a 15 month old daughter and i am 6 months pregnant with our baby boy.. my friend is 9 months pregnant. we want to be friends again but everytime i talk to my fiance about us becoming friends again he flips out.. how can i prove to him i aint goin to cheat on him and that i just need her as a friend?

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bbd75939

Asked by bbd75939 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I dont understand, did you cheat on him before?
    Shyma

    Answer by Shyma at 4:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Why would you do all this for him?? Why do you need to prove anything to him, you did not do anything wrong. Why does he have any right to tell you who you can be friends with, and why are you so afraid to lose him. A good relationship is equal hun, where no one is afraid the other will leave or cheat.
    PsychMommie

    Answer by PsychMommie at 4:10 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Seems to me the bigger problem is, why do you let your fiance dictate who you can be friends with? Sounds like he has a major control issue...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:11 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • wow great relationship. thats sad and pitiful
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Psychmommie is right on the money - he should not be telling to you who you are allowed to have as friends. My husband tried to do this, but despite his yelling, his attempted controlling behavior I stuck to my guns. He should be understanding and accepting, especially if this is a close friend that you confide in.
    I would wonder what it is about her he doesn't like, and does that hold any truth. If she got you addicted to drugs or had addicting behaviors that were bad for you and you family that would be one thing, but if he simply doesn't like her because you are good friends and you confide in each other, then its not okay for him to tell you who can be your friend.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:15 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Sorry to tell you but your fiance is a controlling guy. You put yourself in a bad position by having kids out of wed and now he is taking you for granted by controlling you an isolating you. It won't work, period unless he learns to trust you and you learn to make smarter decisions with your life. Some guys feel entitled to dictate your every move because where are you going to go? What are you going to do? Who is going to want you with 2 kids? Don't let any of these things deter you from living your life according to you, not according to what he feels you should do.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 4:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • He's a controlling jerk and you should be able to choose your own friends without proving anything to him. If it isn't her he gripes about it will be something else. It will always be something else. He wants you to himself. This isn't good and marriage will make his controlling crap worse.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:35 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • OP, I am sorry this is tropubling you, especially while you are carrying his baby;( As if you are not hormonal enough, YOU are allowing him to add to the equation! NONE of us can MAKE someone do something they do not wish to do. Its like making someone LOVEyou,it is not possible. May I suggest, you sit and talk to him calmly and rationally, and simply tell him that you wish to have her back in your life, and to compromise...you will start by having her come to yourplace so that he can see for himself,this is a friendship you wish to rebuild, with his blessings...not behind his back, or out of his sight. I would NEVER allow the man whom claims to love me, dictate my life in this manner, but that is me, and back when I was younger, I almost did allow this. I can symathize with you, somewhat:) My ex hubby, used to say" it isn't you I do not trust, its the rest of the world"...WHAT???? Tell him you WON'T give up on this!CJ
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 4:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Unless she has convinced you to do drugs and cheat on him, he has no right to tell you who you can be friends with.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • why does he think you are going to cheat? if it came out of nowhere, and his behavior has left you with no friends, then I wouldn't stay with him.
    But if you want to stay, I would get some counseling. Since there really is no sure fire way to just prove to him that you won't cheat. Good luck!
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 6:38 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

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