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Would you be upset if you found out that your Mom was friends with your ex-husband on facebook? Or am I being immature?

Ok, well here is my question. My mom knows how upset I am that my brother took my ex husband's side when we divorced. Now I just seen that she is friends with him on facebook. This really upsets me but I don't think it's worth adressing because she isn't that important in my life, but it still burns. She knows that this would upset me, yet she doesn't care. My ex husband cant stand my mom and my mom (from what she says) doesn't like him either. She was glad when we divorced. So I don't understand why she would befriend him. There would be no point in talking to her about it seeing as how she is a dramaqueen. We barely talk now and it would cut off ties...AGAIN.

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worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 5:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • She may have established a friendship with him. She probably still cares about him. A friend of mine whose daughter got divorced, left my friend in a dilemma, wanting to show loyalty to her daughter but still caring about her ex. She chose to at least maintain contact.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:06 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I would be upset, but then again I can't imagine it happening since my Mom probably hates my ex even more than I do (if that is possible). Of course if you have children together it might not be an awful thing for her to at aleast maintain contact. I think people go overboard adding friends on Facebook. I've had one of my husband's friends that I actually threw out of my house ask me twice to add him as a friend - I really don't get it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I think a lot of it is is that they do not talk at all. My ex husband has no problem voiceing his dislike towards her ( I share the same feelings for his mother) so I know it was most likely my mother who friend requested him. There is no established relationship between them. I am not going to say anything, as it would be pointless, but I couldn't help but feel a twang of hurt when I saw this.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:19 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Maybe she did it to upset you. Thats the only reason I can think of. Why she would want to upset you, who knows.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 5:27 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • i wonder where anon is trying to figure out everyone's age on here she apparently thinks people on here are "10" or "2"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • you know when my sis added my ex bf of 10 years ago and his brother, she didnt bother telling me. why? she didnt want me to have contact with him after not connecting with him and his family after 10 years, i think it was her obsessiveness. in your case i think its just him being a little snoopy. i would just leave it. i always say to people that i havent seen in forever that wonder why i havent sent them an invite is "im not really the one to invite friends or add friends, if you want to be my friend then its up to you"

    but it might be just to be snoopy and to make you mad
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 5:46 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • This sounds like a jerry springer episode in the making.

    Maybe she wants to get dirt on what you've said about her(insecurity) during your marriage, maybe she is trying to stir up trouble, maybe she was just fond of hubby in a nonromantic way. Did they get along well during your marriage? Sounds though from your explanation that she's just spiteful and likes drama.

    I'd ignore it all. Two peas in a pod, let them be and enjoy the holidays.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 5:54 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I'm not sure why she is friends with him on there. There will be no Jerry Springer episodes from me, lol! She likes to stir up trouble but I guess sometimes I still wonder why a mother makes a point to do things that they KNOW will upset their children. I guess that somewhere down the line she might see that she should stop hurting me and have a relationship with me but it doesn't seem that will happen anytime soon.

    My ex husband was abusive to me and I have tried to explain to her the reasons for our divorce (she to was abused-by my father) so I thought she understood. There would also be no way that she would try to use him to get information of what I said during our marriage because any feelings I have had about her or any situations I have told her in person. I'm not sure what she is trying to do with this but I wont tell her how I feel, in case she is up to something. Still hurts a bit though.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • Also, I am friends with my ex husband on facebook. We are raising a child together and get along very well. I'm am thankful for that. He wouldn't need to befriend my mother either to get "the scoop" on me. My son is the ONLY grandchild she has and is very unconcerned about him. She volentarily denied the invitation to come to my son's birthday party last year so that she could have sex with her on and off again boyfriend/fiance (depends on the month) of 10yrs. There is nothing connecting her to my ex.

    Thank you ladies for your insightful advice. I love hearing advice from all perspectives.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I don't think facebook counts as anything of any importance. I would likely wonder why my mom did that...but at the same time...I have friends on facebook that I dont' talk to, have hardly an urge to talk to, and some of them I didn't like very much to begin with. Perhaps it's her way of keeping tabs on him...you know, make sure his life isn't so fabulous without you in it. There are sooo many reasons you could "facebook friend" someone...not all of them being of any real consequence to anyone. If they aren't sharing chats and inside jokes on his wall...then I wouldn't be too concerned.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 6:49 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

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