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for the women in stinky relationships....

did you have any sign what so ever before marrying him??? Or did he all the sudden change???

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Dec. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • No, I knew it. I was under the impression that marriage and children would force him to grow-up and stop doing all those childish/ selfish things he was doing. It didn't work, but he is getting better since he was faced with losing us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I did have signs. I was a fool not to go run the other way. I had problem of my own then though and I guess I felt I didn't deserve better. I felt I couldn't be with someone better because I wanted to be equal or less flawed than my partner. I love my husband most of the time, but now that I've matured and got my head on straight, I really wish I hadn't got into a relationship with him. I feel like he's holding me back from being better than I am. I really resent him. I mistook his love for obsession, and in the early days I felt bad for him and wanted to let him down gently but couldn't, he'd always cling on. He loves me and he is faithful and loyal, but I just wish I had someone who was more ambitious. He led me to believe he had high aspirations, when in fact he had none.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • With my 1st marriage, no signs. Nothing. Then 14 days after we were married BOOM. Insanity. I should have left that day.

    I did a back ground check on SO before I would go on a date with him. I told him so too. He has the worst driving record in the history of man kind. Ha!

    Answer by ecodani at 8:38 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I'm not in this situation...

    but with marriages failing around us left and right....MOST (that means NOT ALL) knew ahead of time..and married the loser anyway. marrying somebody isn't going to instantly make them "grow up" or mature. I think too many women are mislead and think that getting married and having children make men grow up...but it doesnt...they're thinking that "he'd change"...women tend to cling on to something...thinking "maybe it'll be different tomorrow...or next week"

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • i was young he was young and yeah with no self esteem i felt he was a good guy. he is really but had a drug problem although i didn't know the extent of it until we got married.

    Answer by melody77 at 8:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I'm not even married yet and I see things but I still think I could marry him

    Answer by TXColter at 8:57 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • OP... thanks for the honest answers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • We aren't married but while dating although he was not perfect I did not realize how moody he was till we lived together! I at one time figured we would marry but pretty much I do not ever want to marry him and forsee myself leaving at some point. His moods have gotton better to some degree but not enough for me. He is a wonderful father and hard worker but I am not happy

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I would NEVER get married. Too many divorces, and child support involved. Look at Tiget woods, what an idiot!

    Answer by ambr2006 at 10:50 PM on Dec. 18, 2009

  • I found out who he really was the day we found out about me being pregnant. He immediately became possesive of me, I couldn't wear make up nice clothes or really do anything with out him or he would accuse me of cheating. And heaven forbid I didn't feel like having sex, then I was all whored out! He would even call my school and tell them he was my father and there was a family emergency and to put me on the phone right away. He would then ask why it took me so long to get to the phone. Mind you I was on a huge campus and had to wait for the messenger to get to my class then clear off my desk and make my way to the office. Meanwhile he quit his job and started driving MY car around hauling his other girlfriends here there and everywhere. And if I questioned what happened to all my gas he would tell me it was none of my business! So, needless to say it ended as quickly as I could get it over with.

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 10:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

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