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my sister or big brat?

my sister is 30 years old and she is a single mom. when we were growing up, my dad did everything he could to make us happy, he is now remarried and has been for 8 years. he rarely dated when we were younger and did not remarry until we graduated from highschool. now that my sister has hit a rocky patch in her life, she is very upest that my dad is doing more financially to help her. i dont think he should have to. are parents supposed to financially have your back your entire life? my dad just makes it every month, i dont think he is trying to be greedy, i just think he really doesnt have he money to help her. i learned a long time ago not to ask for help because it hurt my feelings to be turned down. how can i make her understand this? i am younger than her and have received way less help in my life from my mom or my dad. does anyone else have adult kids that act this way?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (3)
  • My kids are 18, 20 & 27. If I had more money, I would do more to help them, but we're not wealthy, and we're trying to prepare for eventual retirement. We would also like to have some of the things that we've put off while raising our family. No, I don't think parents can afford to give constant financial help. When something serious happens....a medical emergency, a lay off, something that you can't foresee, then if possible parents generally will help out, but I'm 48, and haven't expected my parents to help me since I was very young. When my parents did help out, we were expected to pay them back within a reasonable and often set amount of time. It's good that you are mature enough to see this, hopefully your sister will grow up. Your dad and mom may need to let her stand on her own two feet for that to happen.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:33 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • nope but my in laws are that way with there mom, me and hubby just try to help her out by buying her eegs or milk mabe some bread when she needs it and offer her over for dinner or take her out cant blame ur dad for wanting to help his kid,and u probaly wont get it threw ur sisters head. people dont come around and visit unless they want something,and hopfuly ur father will see this and slow down on helping her

    Answer by angelairelan at 10:43 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • my sister is always the one asking for money in our family. And i am the one that usually needs it. I have a lot of medical problems that has made me loose the job that i had and it is now preventing me from getting a job. My husband is in the military but we just scrape by and with all the bills there are a few that we have to skip for a month so we can get food. But i don't like my family to know that im hurting for money and i don't like to ask. But my sister will ask for anything. She makes 2 times the amount of my husband she is not married and has no kids and yet she has managed to get my family to pay for a car a Lexus at that and everything that she has in her apartment. Where i have got everything aside from baby stuff from family from a baby shower. I don't know what to say about getting her to see that she needs to help herself and not let other people do it for her. She will learn when her parents cant afford it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

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