Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What is the best way to really have your husband listen to you and take your conversation seriously?

I have many things that are very important to me that I try to talk with my hubby about. My problem is he doesn't seem to take it as serious as I need him to or that I would like him to.
I don't want to be a nag or anything I only need a true answer and input. Any thoughts? Also, this one is suborn. My hubby that is!! Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by dez92408 at 2:26 AM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (39 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I am in the same boat !

    Whoever knows the answer to this deserves an award lol

    Answer by glamomomo at 3:00 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You need to know how to debate without showing emotion, only facts. That means no tears or screaming. Become educated on your stance, and provide verifiable facts for your case. Never try to convince them with sex either, they will not take you seriously. You didn't say what you needed to talk with him about, so that's why I'm vague in my response, but I can tell you I get what I want from my husband of 7.5 years by keeping a cool, educated head about what I need. Good luck.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 3:05 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I would give him space after work to reload his mind. Most men need about 30 mins. to settle in after a long day at work. I would suggest and be up front that you have something to tell him & or ask. Now listening and agreeing are two different subjects. I'm a SAHM and I have been for some time. My hubby and I talk all the time which is wonderful. Now when we discuss issues at most he is on my side. I'm not sure what kinda question this is.Your just saying he will not take you seriously. Serious is something big and major like the car doesn't run or your hot water heater broke. What type of questions do you want to ask or talk about would help me out with your question. If it is important to you than it should be important to him as well.

    Answer by goldielock37 at 7:34 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Finally after almost thirty years of marriage, within the past two years, I'm dealing with him in a different way. I saw firmly what's up. I walk away. If he debates with a couple of questions or turns it in his fight I speak again firmly without tears like goldielock37 said.

    If my husband fights then I stay calmly firm and state what's being done and give him choices of behavior and outcomes, sometimes choices of a lifestyle. But there are certain things in my life with my kids and me, him that are best my way. He can agree and go on merrily or he can disagree and it goes on merrily or he can fight and it goes the way I need it to.

    Or he can fight and he's out and pays for two separate households for x more years while providing for his kids and me.

    op men historically don't listen they only see what they want and feel with their penises. You have a right to give and get respect. Also I stronglyurge counseling.

    Answer by lfl at 8:08 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Ok, this is what I've learned with SO. 1. Men don't like wordy conversations and shy away from serious ones. 2. They want it approached directly (no beating around the bush) and stay on track (no touchy feeling stuff). They want it presented quickly and concisely. lol I almost made a Power Point one time for him! So what I do now is I send an email. I number each item (or bullet them) give a subject for each number/bullet and a quick description of what I want to say. Sometimes I have to edit it many times to get it down to something short yet concise. If it's really important I put an asterisk * and a footnote saying I would like to discuss this one in more detail. I know it sounds sort of silly but in the past 3 1/2 yrs I found that this works VERY WELL with him. It gets my point across and I know he reads it if I keep it short and to the point. Men are visual. If they can see it, they can process it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:24 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.