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Deadbeat dad

What do u do about a dead beat dad!!!! I did not think he would act like this. My son is 4 months and he has a 2 month old daughter. he takes care of the daughter but doesnt do anything for my son. He doesnt even see him. we only stay 1hr from him. We went to his hometown and stayed with my girlfriend for 3 days. he only saw his son once during those 3 days we were there. He doesnt work so I prob wont get any money if i take out child support. I live in NC i dont kno how that works. I just feel so angry that he doesnt care.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You have the right to be angry. File for cs from the state. They will give it to you and they will get it back from him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:32 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I decided my son was better off with out him. He's now 11 years old and the smartest kid I know. Makes comments all the time he's glad he's nothinglike his father. Makes me proud and sad at the same time. Proud because he's smart enough to know what a good man is and Sad because I chose the father I did!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 10:38 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Hurry and file for support before the other woman does. In some states the first child gets the most and then that support is deducted when calculating support for other children.

    If he doesn't want to see his son then your baby is better off without him. It's the father's problem and isn't your fault or the baby's fault. You can't make him love the baby and you will go crazy if you spend the next 18 years trying. Move on. It may be best to change the baby's name if you gave him his father's name. You need to find out about how to do that now while you still know where the father is.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • o.p.
    I have such a big heart and i will feel so bad if i file child support knowing he doesnt work. Me and him were n love and i was like family with his family but since he had this other child its like my son is invisible...not to mention me and the other woman were close friends. he texts to check on my son everyday but doesnt come c him, or help pay for anything. he always tells me he broke...but also said he has to pay half the other woman rent since she doesnt work. and says i work so i should be ok.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Your allowing this "man" to avoid his responsibilities! Who cares if hes says he has to pay half her rent. You need to worry about your child and his welfare. Another post is half way correct. It's the oldest child who gets first priority, not the first who files. You can file for child support, which is the right thing to do. Also, if you really need the money to live and support your child go to your local welfare office and ask about how the state can help. They usually give it to you and then take his tax check to repay the state.

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 11:03 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Oh hon, let me tell you, you will be so much better off the sooner you write this dead beat dad off. I have one of those! My son is now 19 years old, so it's better now. But his dad was in and out of his life, never paid any child support. I kept thinking, he is his father, he needs to know him....well let me tell you what I have learned from this experience...Write him off! Your child doesn't need him, he'll never be a real father. And him in and out and no real committment to your child, will only hurt your child over the years. He will influence your child too, the more he is around him, do you want your son to think that's how a real man acts? Trust me.....let him go. you should file for child support through the state, let them deal with him. AND>> MAKE SURE YOU HAVE CUSTODY ON PAPER , THROUGH THE COURT!!! that is very important, because he can take him if not! That has happened to me and many others!!

    Answer by robyann at 11:08 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • do not allow him to walk all over you, if he doesnt work how does he pay half her rent?? and if you file the state will make him look for a job, and i dont want to sound like a bitch but if you were in love with each other why did he get another woman pregnant when you where 2 months pregnant? it sounds to me like YOU were and still are in love and you are hoping if you make things easy for him he will care more, he wont! if you want him to see his child going after child support may do the trick many guys once they are forced to pay they want to be a part of what they are paying for, then again many guys just dont care at all, it has taken me 6 yrs to get my kids dad to seem to care and he threw out everything he had put in by letting his ex move back in and now my oldest (7) refuses to even see him

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Ohh well. If he doesn't want to be apart of your child's life, then it is beneficial for you and your child to cut off all contact with him now. You don't want your son growing up knowing his father only sees him when he feels like it. That will rip your son apart knowing he's a convience to his father. If you cut off ties now your son won't become attached to his father and won't get dissapointed everytime he doesn't come around again. You can go to court and file for child support, but that's as far as I would go. Don't set yourself up for him being in your child's life if he hasn't after four months. Let him go, he's not worth it.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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