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The significant other rule about religion? (younger Christians but anyone can answer)

Talking to a few friends of my daughter all of them said they will not marry a guy that is not Christian. A few said it would be ok to marry outside their denomination as long as the guy was a true Christian that lives by Christian values. Just about all of them said dating a guy who is not Christian is fine but when it was time to get serious it would be Christians only.

I started wondering when is the right age to start looking at religion when you date? How does the conversation come up about religion with kids?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • From the moment I started dating as a teen I made the decision not to date a guy unless he was a believer and living for the Lord. With my husband, we had actually discussed our beliefs pretty thoroughly before we started dating. We only dated 6 months before getting engaged, and discussed kids and marriage from the beginning. Both of us were 27 and were not interested in dating unless we were going to get serious and there was the probability of marriage.

    Answer by micheledo at 11:10 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Being married to someone who doesn't share my beliefs, I have to say it isn't as hard as people assume it will be. As long as both people respect each other there are only a few details to work out & it is pretty easy to come up with a strategy for the children. I can see where there could be an emotional issue if one partner believes that their path is the only way to a necessary salvation & that their spouse is on the road to being left behind. I would think that if your religious beliefs & values are a significant part of your life & personality you wouldn't ever want to date someone (exclusively, not just casual dates) who does not share those beliefs & values. My atheist daughter isn't terribly concerned about it but I know she could never date a devout Christian, Muslim or other who believed that she & others who didn't share his belief were doomed, deluded by the devil or willfully neglecting her spiritual life.

    Answer by nysa00 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • thank you nysa, I am not out to change their minds, I was just wondering the age but thanks for sharing. One of the girls saw a divorce over this issues another girl saw HUGE fights over how to raise the kids. So surly you can at the very least understand why these teenagers feel this way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I started wondering when is the right age to start looking at religion when you date? How does the conversation come up about religion with kids?
    ^that is the actual question if you care to take a jab at the ACTUAL question.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Oh I certainly do see how they can feel this way & I see how it can raise problems in a relationship if someone isn't tolerant or simply if the couple doesn't plan ahead. And I believe it is better to know before you start dating seriously what you can work with & what you can't, so I respect that these teens have given it thought already.

    Answer by nysa00 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Since in a lot of ways younger age dating is figuring out about oneself and whom one really wants to be with, I think it should be something in their heads with whomever they date, whenever they start dating.

    A speaker I once saw said that the dating process is interviewing for one's future spouse. After going through my experiences and marrying my husband, I'd say that's pretty true.

    I don't think there's a specific age, necessarily, just whenever someone officially starts dating they should be thinking about whether or not they'd want to be with the person long term, and if they can't see a future with that person, cut 'em lose.

    Answer by MamaBee07 at 12:36 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Arh the folly of youth , they think they can date and choose who they are going to fall for !!!!!!

    Life has a way of throwing curve balls , and theres that little something called love lust or fate depending on your point of view,
    Once it hits , the the complications starts and suddenly all the old common sense flys out the window,,,,,,,,, nothing matters any more ,,,,,,,, insurmountable issues become charming challenges,,,,,,,,, tolerance is stretched to the point were it should have long snapped,,,,,,,, and suddenly life starts playing in technicolour, with "i think to myself what a wonderful world" playing in the background.

    Suddenly the most unsuitable of prospects becomes the only desire ---- dating unsuitable people is a disaster waiting to happen,,,,, YEAH for arranged marriages !!!!! OK ---- indulge me a little I'm in a very good mood tonight !!!!!!! LOL

    Answer by zanzeebeel at 12:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • when i was dating, i wouldn't even bother seeing anyone that was christian, sure that sounds harsh, but not many Christianswould want to date someone who is a satanist, so when i started dating my now husband i was very upfront about what i believe, turns out he has very similar beliefs to me...i was 18 by the way (my husbands my first and only boyfriend lol)..i have friends that are christian and dating another christian was very important to them sense they were "of dating age", which in their family was 16.


    Answer by necro1134 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Op-I'm a little dense today do you mean at what age do you talk to your kids about religion and dating or when should you talk to a date about religion?

    I don't want to ramble on this one so I'll wait to see if you post again. Thanks

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:41 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You know zanzee I was just reading a child bride who was given away in an arranged marriage describe her abuse.

    nercro, it doesn't sound harsh to not want to date a Christian. After all, Christians seem to think of religion as a factor when getting married. I couldn't marry an atheist that always calls God an imaginary friend or the invisible guy in the sky. We all have our limits and an athiest who is not tolerant and respectful would be my line and I would expect the same line drawn from anatheist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Dec. 19, 2009