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What ways do you talk to your spouse so they'll listen?

In all seriousness, how do you talk to your spouse that actually causes him to listen and follow through? My dh is so stubborn and I think I'm too soft and let alot of things go when he doesn't appear to acknowledge that something I want done is important to me. Most of my examples have to do with planning our weekends and I tend to ask for his feedback so it doesn't appear I'm telling him "this is what we are doing." But even when doing it this way, he drags his feet, hemms and haws and it's like pulling teeth. Too hard. Just wondering if theres a secret out there about men and getting them to do what you want but letting them think it's their idea?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I usually just stand in front of the tv and talk to him while he's watching something important. he gets so upset that he agrees to whatever I say

    Answer by Shyma at 11:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Omg if you find a method that works, let me know would you? I have to basically beat my husband's head on the floor if I want him to remember what I'm saying to him....

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • no secret. no way around their stubborn-ness. sorry! ive tried it all..yelling, consistently telling him, making it his idea, ignoring the fact, ignoring it all together, nothing works so my best advice is do what is easiest for you and just let him know what your doing cause that is just apart of being married.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 11:48 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • lol.. my sis n me realized you have to use key words to get there attention.. ex: truck , tool box , car, garage
    then after you get their attention you finish saying what you want them to hear..
    lol ... seriously . If i want him to do something I just tell him a couple days n advance.. ex: were going to my moms this weekend. , I want you to put new the sink in this weekend..

    Answer by meNmine at 11:52 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Talk about what you want after a good love making session, and make it a habit.

    Answer by older at 11:57 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • my husband and i are pretty good about this one, i respect the fact he works hard all week long and he respects the fact that i dont get out of the house all week long so i dont ask him to do ALOT on the weekends but every weekend we do atleast one thing that gets me out of the house but doesnt make him do a whole lot lol ive found that instead of getting mad when he doesnt want to do something i simply put the ball in his court, "well what would you like to do?" and then we find something in the middle

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:10 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Wait ... Men listen? I didn't realize they hit the next evolutionary milestone.

    Seriously though, I don't "make it seem like his idea". I put it out there what I want to do, when I want to do it, etc. He has every right to put in his imput, give suggestions, or change things, but I make it clear what I want to do first. We discuss it and come to a comprimise if he is in disagreement with what I do. Usually my husband puts it all on me with what we're doing or how to get certain things done. He's very much eager to sit back and let me make all the choices. Which isn't always the way I want to do it, so I put it out there and I let him know that this is HIS choice. Sometimes it takes an hour to get an answer, and me having to ask ten times, but eventually I get something. If he knows how much I want to do something then he's usually pretty much on board. Usually.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:34 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • OP here: Really glad to know most men are the same ;-)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • OP again: It's funny how we women sometimes think the grass is greener in someone elses house. I do that ALOT with my sis-in-laws and always view them as seeming to get what they want from their men. But, I'll bet they have just as many struggles. Men show their best faces when they're in a crowd such as at family functions. It's behind closed doors that really counts for what they are like. For all of us really, not just men.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • My DH drags is feet getting ready, thats him it drives me crazy, so one day I asked did he want to go to the store with me he said yes I got up got ready, got on the net answered emails took about 20 mins enough time for him to get ready, all the while he sat flipping thru the channels. grabbed my keys and left when I came home 2 hrs later and a few $$ poorer he asked didnt you want me to go? Told him I asked you said yes I got ready you sat there figured you didnt want to go so I left, till this day if i ask if he wants to go he asks how much time do i have to get ready, him thinking i was mad worked I wasnt mad at all but ill never tell him that. you might want to try that good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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