Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I'm concerned about my 16 mo grandson. My son lost his job and my DIL works. She isn't into being a mother and is all about her work. My son has fibromyalgia and is exhausted. I take care of my grandson about every other day including her days off.

Friday he was still wearing the clothes I put on him Sunday. He had on a too small diaper and they had no more. He was barefoot and no jacket and he was dirty. My son knew I had to go places with him. This happens all the time and is getting worse.

I put clothes on him and never see them again. I have run out of clothes. I bought shoes just 3 weeks ago, who knows where they are. There apartment is a disaster. There is a diaper bank in town and they won't go get diapers. He has diaper rash and eczema.

Is this enough that they could get in trouble?

I've thought about telling them I will take care of him every day. I'll be exhausted.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • You need to sit them down and talk with them, I realize your son has a chronic condition, but he has to pull it together for the sake of your grandson, DIL is working, and sounds like she is supporting the household,,,,IDK how anyone can let their kiddo go with a diaper rash, if you have him all of the time, this must mean they never change his diaper, as the grandma I would go buy diapers right now and keep clothes you buy him at your house, yes there is enough for an investigation, but I doubt enough to terminate their rights, will they talk to you? Could the kid just come to live with you? Would they care,? You didn't mention how old they are or where the DIL's mother is?? Maybe she doesn't know how to be a parent, could you help her get some classes, as well as for your son? God Bless, and take care grandma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:25 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You need to have a talk with them and threaten them with calling the authorities if things don't change NOW.That baby needs to be taken care of.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I think that is neglect 100%. I know it will be hard, but you need to call CPS. Seems like neither of them is trying to take care of this child properly, I know your son has a condition, maybe he really isn't able to take care of him and sounds like the mother just does not care. I know you said you would take care of him everyday but you would be exhausted, maybe you should try to get him put in foster care. I know it sounds harsh but anything would be better than this child not being cared for. Wearing the same clothes that long is awful, you know he isnt getting bathed or anything. Are they feeding him properly, I would think not. people who are even to lazy to go get free diapers probably doesn't care at all.
    It is up to you to save this child. Please do something, either take him into your home and care for him like he should be cared for or take the steps to get CPS involved and removed from the home.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Cont....If you really love this child you will save him before it is too late. What if they aren't watching him and he gets hurt really bad or something like that?

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:27 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I keep hoping it will get better but it is getting worse. They are both college grads. I'm afraid if I try to say or do anything that my DIL won't let my grandson see me & will expect my son to do everything. Not that my son shouldn't do everything but that I don't want her to end my relationship with my grandson.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You need to talk to your son, if she is working all the time he needs to step up his game. I understand all too well how having a chronic condition like fibromyalgia can be extremely debilitating but he was well enough to make the child so he needs to be well enough to take care of it. I myself deal with pain on a daily basis, it's crippling I often make myself vomit because it hurts so bad to move, but my 17 month old son is taken care of every day and he doesn't know any difference between when I am feeling okay and when I would rather throw myself off the cliff behind out house just to end my pain. I don't think that you telling your son to step up his game will annoy your DIL she might appreciate it. Not saying she gets off scot free but she's the one working so it's his job to care for their child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • you cant ignore this. you definitely need to do something about it. that is neglect 100%. If you dont stand up and try and do something someone else may report it and he may get taken away completely and put into foster care. atleast right now you have an option to help so you can still see him. If it were me I would have done something a long time ago. I can completely understand why you wouldnt say something right away, but right now, you need to . dont feel bad for them, feel bad for your grandson. its not right and he deserves better. Im begging you to do something for that poor little boy. please help him,

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • That is definitely neglect. i know your son is sick and the mom works alot but that is no excuse to neglect your child. I am a single mom, a full time teacher and a full time graduate student and my daughter is clean, closed iron and neat everyday. Yes it is extremely exhausting. Yes some days Im like the hell with this Im too tired, but its all apart of parenthood. Maybe someone else in the family can help out with the child if they dont want to. If not and you are too tired I would definitely call somebody.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 5:50 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • SHE CAN'T DO IT ALL! She works and is expected to take care of the kid 24/7....He can help with that child and she needs help too when she is hope but sounds like you place the balem on her and I know others with fibromyalgia that fully take care of their kids and have more than one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I would talk to your son first. Tell him your concerns about the diapers (sounds like they have the money) and the dirty clothes. See what he says. Give it a week or so. Then reassess. What bothers me about this is that you are taking care of him, even on her days off. I get that your son has a condition. I don't know much about that, so I can't comment on what he should or should not be doing. What you are describing is neglect, and it's sad and wrong. Get that kid help.

    Answer by apexmommy at 7:28 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.