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If your boyfriend wanted you to put your baby up for adoption?

My boyfriend told me this morning that we should think about putting our little baby up for adoption. I am shocked that he said that and am really hurt. He says that our lives will be better and easier that way and she will be happier with people who can take care of her. I told him no and I don't want to give her up and he says to just think about it. That is something I can't think about because I love her and don't care if she cuts into my fun time. He told me we need a fresh start so we can have a good life. We are on and off so why would I give my baby up for him. I'm so hurt by this. I think he is just trying to get out of ever having to face child support and if I did do that he may leave me afterwards. My baby is more important than him.

 
penguinbabe44

Asked by penguinbabe44 at 2:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

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This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • This is your body and your baby. Your growing and nurturing her so ultimately its your decision. He can't pressure you one way or the other. There's a ton of women who raise children without the support of a man. I don't know your situation but its up to you mamma. Its going to cost a lot of your time and money but in the end its worth it when you look into their eyes and see what a beautiful creation you made.
    hillma

    Answer by hillma at 4:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You have to chose what is best for you, but honestly sweetie think about it and think about it hard.....Its not so much about fun time, as being mature enough and financially responsible for a baby 24/7, there are many places that have open adoption. It sounds like he is not ready to be a dad, so your going to probably be doing this on your own,,, I am so sorry I know how tough this is,,,what does your Mom and Dad say? I think you need to talk to someone to figure out, not what is best for you but what is best for you future daughter!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:52 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • i think you already have your answer. you pretty much said adoption isn't an option, that you wouldn't do it just because he wants you to, and that your relationship with him isn't so great. maybe what you are asking is if we would leave our boyfriend? i would because i think it's easier while pregnant than after baby is born.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • As a woman and a mother I think that NO ONE should be able to tell anyone what to do with her body and her baby. HOWEVER as a mother of a teen boy it makes me angry that if a girl/woman has an unplanned pregnancy she makes all the decisions. If she decides she is not ready to have a baby she can choose an abortion or adoption and there is nothing the father can do about it and if she chooses to have and keep the baby he has no choice in that either. I think you should have a long serious talk with your BF and if possible have a mediator involved.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 3:02 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You don't say how old you are. If you are 16 or younger then I think he should have voiced his opinion. If you are older than that I think you may be better off without him. He may be letting you know you are going to have to choose between the baby and him.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • boyfriends come and go- your baby is forever. dump this jerk if he is pressuring you go do something you don't want to. It will be difficult, but you will be a great momma!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Accept now that you are going to be a single mother. That is 100% fact. You will not be with him forever. If you're under 18, he has an excellent point. If you're over 18, get rid of him now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • He has every right to voice his opinion. Ultimately the decision is yours. Personally, I would never put a man before my kids.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 3:30 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Whaat does his age have to do with this? That doesn't make any sense. But anyway, the decision should be yours. If he leaves,oh well. If you want to keep your baby,then keep it. And you can get your life together WITH the baby.
    nikkiJ86

    Answer by nikkiJ86 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • ditch the jerk. your baby is more important. obviously all he cares about is himself and his freedom. you LOVE your baby, and if you want to keep her then do so. there are ways to get financial assistance for you and baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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