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my mother acts like she's a visitor with the kids, instead of their!

She seems to only want me or my parents to disaplin my kids. its okay for her to do nothing I told her that she can help srraighten my kids out too, after all she is their grandmother. It not like her other son where the grand kids are not really hers. They have their grandmom. Her other is married to a girl who has two kids from two different fathers. I see where she's not to step in there. What do you think? :|


Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think that they are YOUR kids and if grandma doesn't want to have to "straighten them out" she shouldn't have to. Grandparents are there to love your kids, they aren't there to teach your kids lessons that you should be teaching yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • If you are there you should parent your children not their grandmother, she is like the visitor. If they are in her care then she should 'discipline' them. Of course a grandparent hit or be expected to hit a grandchild.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:27 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Oops, A grandparent shouldn't hit ...

    Answer by Gailll at 3:28 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • She is right. Her job was to discipline her own children NOT yours. Let her enjoy her grandchildren as a grandmother. It is not her job to discipline them. You're lucky she isn't over stepping her boundaries and just wants to be there for love and support of your children after all that is what grandparents are there for. You straighten them out. You're their mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • As a grandma myself, I can say that I feel it is the parents' job to discipline. I tell my grandchildren no if they are starting something dangerous or annoying, but if it comes to any stronger discipline, then that's not what I do. I'm the grandparent not the parent.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I'm a grandmother and I only speak up when the parents are not around and things are getting out of hand. I say simple things like "let's not hit" or "that's not nice". It's not my job to teach them things the parents should have already taught them but I don't mind reminding them. I want to play and enjoy them not be the taskmaster. This is why I like being a grandmother better than being the mom!

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:55 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • My parents prefer to dote on their grandchildren. They want to give them back to the parents when they are becoming a bit too much. One time, my mother-in-law overstepped the boundary with my children. My dh & I did not have a a good relationship for a while. She still doesn't get why we were angry about what she had done. We have to be watchful whenever she is around our children. It is mine and my dh's right to raise our children. As a matter of fact, my dh thinks that sometimes she wishes he were dead so she could raise our children the way she thinks is best. It is best that she only sees them once or twice a year. Now, do you understand why your mom chooses to let you do the disciplining?

    Answer by dustbunny at 6:11 PM on Dec. 19, 2009