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My 2 year old daughter frequently hits me.

She just turned 2, I thought we had conquered this when she was smaller but recently when I have to take something away from her or tell her no for some reason she repeatedly makes a hitting gesture which turns into hitting objects and then finally to hitting me. I place her in time out every time but she doesn't get it because she continues with this behavior. She only hits me, not my spouse, no one at daycare. She has actually been doing it since about 6 months but stopped for a while. My husband and I don't hit eachother or her, I really dont know where she learned it. Has this happened to any other Mom's? Any advise is appreciated.

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Asked by kittymontclaire at 5:13 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • This is common when mothers say no and use punishments like time-outs. There are lots of better ways of communicating with toddlers and getting what you want. Time-outs don't work.

    Here is a good article about how to say no without saying no. It's about a whole different way of looking at parenting.

    Answer by Gailll at 5:25 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • My daughter does it sometimes. She will be two in January. She hits at me but not her aunts or her dad. I hit her on her hand once for hitting me and she thinks about it now before she does it. Your dughter is obviously doing it to you because of her reaction. You need to tell her "no" sternly and mean it. Children arent stupid. Dont give in. I say "no" to my daughter and I look her straight in the face and say "mommy said no, do you understand?" She nods her head yes and cries, but she gets it.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 5:45 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • My 2 year old did it, and my 15 month old is starting. I can tell you what we did (and do), and it might work for you. When she starts, I gently grab her arm, holding it still. I say sternly "no hitting, gentle hands". When she stops struggling to hit me, I will help her move her hand gently, patting me or rubbing. When I do this, I repeat "gentle hands". It helps because if I'm cooking or whatnot and they start to beat on the cat, I can quickly say "gentle hands" and they have a mental image of what's supposed to be happening. It gives them an alternative, I guess. It worked with the 2 year old, and is so far working with the 15 month old.

    If I know they are just trying to play, not hitting out of frustration, then I just do the "gentle hands" bit and show them how to touch.

    Answer by apexmommy at 7:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • yeah, my dd did that twice when she was 2. the first time she did it, i got down to her level and told her, its not nice to hit mommy, dont do that anymore, ok? she said ok mommy. She did it again, she got spanked and i told her, dont ever hit mommy again. she hasnt done it since, she's now 14yo and very well behaved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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