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Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm invited to a few holiday parties, but I'm reluctant to go - partly 'cause I'm feeling blue and partly 'cause I'm shy. Any advice Moms? Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in About CafeMom

Answers (8)
  • Hard to cure shy with a simple post. YOU have to make it happen. Just go for two hours. Remember that if you ask questions about the other person and get them talking about what matters to them.... they will think your great. People love to talk about themselves. I use that all the time when I go to boring houty touty business cocktail parties. I really dont care about your business, merger, etc.... but if they are talking about what matters to them... they think Im brilliant. LOL.

    Good luck... heck go buy a new dress too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • The best thing to do in this situation is to rsvp yes and let them know ahead of time that regretfully you will not be able to stay very long. That way you can go and have fun and if you aren't feeling it you can leave early guilt free and without insulting the host. Wear a cute outfit that makes you feel a little more outgoing and think up a few things to talk about before hand. Being shy should never be a reason to miss out on life. I hope you go and have a wonderful time! :) Happy Holidays!
    usbornebooksdh

    Answer by usbornebooksdh at 6:03 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I am the same way, and once I go I always have fun and don't know what my problem was in the first place, it is easy to dread something that you can't control. If it sucks you can always leave early but go and I bet you will have fun in spite of yourself. Good luck.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:41 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Maybe going will help break you out of your shell and bring up your spirits. Trying is half the battle. I know, it's very after school special, but it does have true meaning behind it. If you try to go out and be social you might not feel soo blue. "Shy" is a state of mind and only exists as long as you allow it to. I'm proof of this. I used to be a passive, an introvert, and very quiet. I got a job in a photo lab and I was forced to speak up, and that's when I decided that I had, had enough of being quiet and shy. I started to talk to people, even when I didn't quite know what to say. I'm not the quickest with words, not very whitty, and I'm not always ones to shoot out a snappy joke. However, I give it a try and usually it comes out in my favor. It didn't happen overnight, but if you don't put yourself out there you'll never break out of your shell. Give it a try. All the best to you!!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:16 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • if your friendly with the host try going on the early side, offer to bring a dish or help out. this way you can "ease" into the party atmosphere a little more slowly, and because you had some earlier time with your host they won't be disappointed if it gets overwhelming and you want to leave early. it also helps if your knows that your shy, not saying they'll hold your hand but they might look out for you a bit more.

    trying2survive

    Answer by trying2survive at 10:45 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • You should at least try. It could be fun. I am shy too but I am working on it.
    rjpetty605

    Answer by rjpetty605 at 11:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Usually being one of the first to arrive is a bad thing but in this case the AP is right. The host is busy preparing for the party and if you and two other people are there you know you'll end up chatting then you'll have someone to talk to during the party rather than feeling like your hosts shadow the whole time. I have a friend who is so shy she won't even speak at parties so as guests arrive that I know she has something in common with I will take them over and say "Hey Stacey this is Sarah and she also volunteers for the _____." Then if they don't hit it off the next person I bring in I'll say "Hey Ron I have a friend I think you have a lot in common with I want you to meet. She's really shy but I think you will hit it off!" The warning that shes shy helps because then she doesn't come off rude. Thats the thing when you're super shy it comes off as you being rude so try to make sure you respond candidly! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I have social anxiety order and depression and find it very hard to go to holiday parties or anywhere there are crowds of people so I truly feel for you. But I do go to them because hubby wants me too. I will admit that I take a Xanax before I go and I don't drink. But once I get there if I know at least one or two people and can talk to them, that helps a lot. And if you get really overwhelmed, excuse yourself and go outside for a few minutes, take some deep breaths and calm yourself back down. You may find that you have a lot of fun once you get there. Good luck to you and Happy Holidays.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

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