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She wont let me put her down!!!

I have a 3 month old baby girl. I cant seem to get anything done and thought by now she would be getting a little better at sitting alone. She cries when i put her down. its doesnt seem to be colic. Putting her down and letting her cry does not help too much either, just makes me anxious. Does anyone have any suggestions on what i can do to get some peace or if it is abnormal for a three month old?

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Asked by Mameech1 at 7:13 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 8 (222 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Do you have one of those little bouncy chairs that moves when she kicks or has that vibrator on it? She may just like the motion. Get a baby swing.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 7:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I have both swing and bouncer and a pillow that snugs her like she is being held. The only thing that will very occasionally entertain her is the swing.

    Answer by Mameech1 at 7:17 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • No it is not abnormal for a 3 month old or even a 9 month old to be clingy. A baby NEEDS to be held and not left to cry. If you ever tried to let your LO CIO or left the child to cry this could be a major part in the behavior now. The best thing you can ever do is to attend to baby's needs the minute she lets you know (cries) by doing so you are building a bond of trust that allows baby to know you will be there when needed no matter what which leads to less crying. My advice to you is to rebuild that level of trust so that you will have a baby that doesn't cry as much. Good Luck and attend to baby as soon as you hear her cry and perhaps invest in a sling. Motherhood is definitely not easy nor convenient at times sorry but there are no real shortcuts.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I am not sure what to tell you. My son was like this for a long time. He fed every hour for 45 mins at a time.
    He had colic like symptoms for close to 18 months. Turns out he is mildly lactose intolerant.
    If she is on formula you might want to consider changing to a different one without lactose for a week or two and see if she gets any better. Being with mom seems to make them forget about the pain or discomfort.
    I wasn't going to let him watch TV but I found Baby Einstein was very soothing for him and that I could put it on repeat and even take a nap.

    Answer by AussieMum2 at 7:22 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Infants need to be held and made to feel secure. Do you have a sling or other carrier? You will be surprised at how much you can do when you are wearing a baby.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Love some swing, take it where she can see you, or just lay down with her in your arms, and then move to crib,, promise it will get better!

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • oh come on anon. of course u dont let ur baby cry if something is wrong but dont spoil them every time they whine when you put them down. the smartest and best doctors say so... its ok to let them cry it out as long as theyre not wet hungry or sick. babies also just cry to cry sometimes. its normal but dont make it a habbit of holding the baby all the time or youll regret it. my daughter loves sitting in front of a mirror. that always worked for me. ...please dont listen to anon... if u dont believe me, ask any doctor!!!!! because if you do everything in a hurry the very second ur baby makes a sound, they will expect that all the time. youll have a 3 year old screaming a fit in public because they expect to get everything they want.

    Answer by micahsmommy512 at 8:12 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • micahsmommy you may want to read up on those doctors because not a one says that you can spoil an infant by holding them too much. Another thing doctors agree upon is at 3 months you can never let them CIO. OP you will never "regret" holding your baby all the time either, that is just absurd to think that way!! Hold baby, love baby, attend to baby's need in a prompt manner and relish in the fact that you can have it all, great children that were given all the love and attention they deserve. I have 3 extremely independent older children that never threw a "screaming fit" and were attended to in the way anon described. There is a lot of truth in what anon 7:19 said just check around for yourself.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Normal, 100% normal. It will get worse before it gets better, so find ways to make it work.

    Slings and carriers are excellent for this purpose. Most important baby item.

    Like anon said, micahsmommy doesn't know what she's talking about. You don't spoil an infant by giving them what they need. And infants DO sometimes just need attention and to be held... most times, in fact. I'd say that at least half of the "work" of caring for an infant... holding them.

    Answer by LeanneC at 8:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • This is to the OP. The crying makes you anxious for a reason. It is suppose to. Baby is a social creature she wants to be with you and get to know you. It is a good thing. :-) If you can wear baby in a sling or carrier part of the time, try that. Contrary to popular belief that does not encorage clingy behavior. I held my 16 month old ALOT when he was a baby. Of course if he is tired or hungry than he clings but otherwise he is happy to play on his own or with his older sister. There is no such thing as holding your baby too much. You can not spoil your baby with too much love or by not letting them cry.
    When my son was little I held him alot but also had a baby rocker/seat that was protable enough that I could cart it around the house so he could see me. You could try something like that if you don't want to do the sling/carrier.

    Doctors give great medical advice, parenting advice? Sometimes not so much.

    Answer by anklebitr at 8:38 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

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