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Do you have a special bond with your first born child?

I only have one but you always hear women say "well, they were my first born". Just wondering.......

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I have two and feel I have a special bond with both. Honestly.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 8:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I hear this all the time from so many women and mothers. I love my son, he is our first child, and I can't imagine loving someone with the same amount of intensity as I do him. What I know is that if we have a second I will love him or her as much. With second children some women have told me it takes time to build up that same connection in their second child. With your first you have a history and memories. Your second you are just beginning your journey with him or her. For some it takes time. That is normal. And then one day you realize you would jump through any burning hoops for ALL of your children. I will say I believe parents can love their children differently but still have the same amount of intense love for their children. Children do see the differences but don't understand that different doesn't mean not equal.  Hard to be a parent really.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:54 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I can't imagine loving a second the way I love the one we have now. But, I also don't necessarily feel like a MOM yet, 16 months after the fact. I feel more like, I dunno, a big sister or something...I don't know how you're supposed to feel, as a mom? So maybe I don't have the bond other moms have. However, I do feel that there's something there, a bond, that I couldn't have with another child.
    sweetphoenix529

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 9:47 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I have three kids, and I have a special bond with each one of them in their own unique way. The one I have with my first born is not like the one I have with my second, etc. Doesn't mean any one of those bonds are more special than the other, just different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • No. I never bonded with her. We don't get along at all. She is very much a Daddy's girl and has always gone to him when she was sick or needed something. It's always been that way. She's 9 now and sometimes I look at her and feel like she isn't even mine. I love her but there is no connection like with my other kids. It's sad.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:53 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I didn't want to risk it. So I only had one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I have completely different relationships with both of my kids. My second is closer with me though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Yep, special bond with my first and always will. None with second.... i got some issues with bonding with her. i aint going into detail
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I have 4 sons and I am close to each of them. As they have grown older our bonds have shifted. My sons are all adults now and with 3 (my 1st, 3rd and 4th born sons) we are good friends. My 2nd son...he's not a good place right now and because of his choices has pushed everyone away because he knows we don't approve (drugs, a gf who is much younger, a baby on the way, his living wherever he can find a place to live, his being jobless....and the list goes on). We all love him but he's pushed us away which is his MO. Sigh. I never have had a favorite, they all have a special spot in my heart. The 3rd one tends to stay in my mind the most so i am sure that some would see him as my favorite but he's just the one I have to worry about, the others I don't have to worry about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I feel closer to my baby my oldest was takein over by my mom and I did not learn to step up in time and that first few weeks flew by he was still here with me I was just not able to do nothing with him and I was unable to make it up I feel so bad about it I have tryed everything to get that bond that I should have just had, I do love him but I am closer to my baby they are both boys and are 17 months apart my oldest is 2 and I still have years to come but I am afaird that them weeks may have been the most important
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

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