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Age Differences?

I am in a realtionship with a 29 year age difference. I have had tons of people against and people for it. But to those who are against it..Give me ur reasons why? I don't understand what the big issues is, if the two peole involved are mature enough and understand, respect and maybe even love each other why doesn it matter how old they are or how many years seperate them? I love my boyfriend, he's everything to me, along with our 3 kids. I couldn't ask for anyone better and I just don't understand why people have to be so rude about it and why they hate it so much (the age difference). I would love some insight and please dont just be "its gross"

 
SweetPoison

Asked by SweetPoison at 10:47 PM on Dec. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,609 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Hmm... I'm sorry but I somewhat agree seeing how you have 3 kids, or even if you only have given birth to one of the 3, then he was messing with you when you were underage and that's gonna leave a bad taste in a LOT of people's mouths.
    Some people at 19 ARE mature enough to handle the relationship, and the people offering their input on it and others aren't.
    I married my hubby when I was just shy of 21 and there's a 16 yr difference in our ages. We got the "is this your daughter/dad?" thing a lot at first, but lucky for both of us, we never cared what other people thought. When someone would say "wow, he sure is one lucky guy", I'd say, no, you got it backwards, I'm the lucky one to have found him.
    If it doesn't bother you, then ignore what people say. My only concern is that with him being a lot older and you being so young when you got pregnant. Continued....
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:57 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • It really depends on the age of the couple. My husband and me are 10 years apart in age. I was 29 when we started dating, if I would have been 19 I think there would have been a bigger difference then at the age I was when we first got together. But as long as you and him have a good and healthy relationship that is all that really matters.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 10:57 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • I personally agree with you. I think if all parties involved are mature and responsible about their relationship it shouldn't matter the age. The only way I would disagree is if one of the parties were under the age of 19. Yes, I do believe that even 19 year olds should have an age limit in who they date. Anyhow. I think the reason most see a problem with it, is because the maturity level can be different. Ontop of there being two different stages between the two people. For example someone in their early 20's would be at a completely different maturity level and stage in life then someone in their 30's. Yes, this doesn' go for every individual couple, but generally speaking it is for most. People tend to think that there is an age limit for everything, but after you get to a certain age it is just a number. If you two are happy, then ignore the negativity and continue to be happy. All the best to you and yours!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:58 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • OP Here: Boyfriend is 48 and I am 19..if that makes any difference to ppl. I worded the question wrong.
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 11:01 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • omg, give me a break. It's like he wants to do his daughter and you want to do your dad. men get young girls like that so they can mold them into some stepford mate. girls like you only want to be taken care of. where's your own dad? What does he say about this? Your KIDS? You have 3 kids with this man? That would mean he did you as a juvenile and that not only gross but illegal. i think I'm going 2 b ill. do you get to just move in and him take care of u 2? what do his real kids think? is his ex rolling on the floor laughing at u both? how much does he pay u 2 b his little girl? lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Being married to an older man, I wasn't thinking when I was 20 that his health would likely get worse before mine, his hair, teeth, weight, stamina, sex drive, bones, etc. Now I'm faced with the reality that I love this man with everything in me, but his body is changing faster than mine, as it should. Not that it's going to make me leave him, but I do worry more now about things that I didn't give a second thought to before.
    I hope you have or get a great education because he's pretty close to retirement age and it's going to be tough raising kids on social security and your income.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:02 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I should've added, we're 16 years apart in age, and have been married for 16 years. It's been a roller coaster of changes and adjustments but lucky for me, he's my best friend as well as my hubby. But we don't like very many of the same types of movies/shows, and if we listen to music together, it's typically his kind because he's never adjusted "today's" music.
    It's definetely possible that this relationship is going to last, all you need is love. But you're going to have to have to figure out the right way to tell people to mind their own business if you don't want to hear it.
    Be nice about it, or be direct, but say something if you don't like it.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:05 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • how the hell can you even connect with him???? he's either got to be really immature or you don't have a real relationship.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 12:59 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I dated a man that was 20 years my senior. He became the next to the best love of my life and my best friend. we dated for three years. If you have three kids, then its a littel too late to give you advice. I would have suggested that you enjoy him but opt for a guy closer to your own age before starting a family.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 1:34 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • i would normally say there is nothing wrong with it assuming both parties are over 18, but clearly if you already have 3 kids together you were not 18 when it started, alot of the time when the age difference is that much and the younger party is under 18 ( i have a friend that her kids father is 20 years older then her and she had their first child at 16) its a control issue and sometimes they are so good at the control you dont even see it. My friend saw it 13 years later and got out. Personally I think you have ALOT of growing up to do that you don't even realize you have to do. I had my first at 19 with my ex who was 22 at the time, and even then i didnt see how much growing up i had left to do and its even harder to see when you are with someone so much older because you have it in your head that you must be mature or they wouldnt want to be with you. I honestly cant believe your parents allowed it
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 2:18 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

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