Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you get a stubborn old man out of your house?

FIL lives with us, and has been here 9 months. He said when he moved in that he ONLY needed a few months til his check got going. Yeah right. He is a master manipulator. He "can't afford anywhere" but he can buy beer and food for his brother and buddies he hangs out with on weekends. He doesn't contribute anything here...except for cigarette butts in my yard, and messes worse than my kids have ever left. DH is going to Iraq for a year next month. I am not comfortable having him here period, much less without DH here. All he said when DH told him he was leaving was "I hope that doesn't mess up MY living arrangement." Now DH is "doesn't know how" to tell him, or where he'll go. SIL has room! Do you think she offered? Heck no. He should have found a place months ago. So how do I get him out?! Or rather, how does DH get him out?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 AM on Dec. 20, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Your husband needs to man up and tell his dad it's time for him to go. Maybe he can talk to his sister and see if she can put Daddy Dearest up for a little while. But if you are uncomfortable with him being there, he should not be there. Trust me when I say I KNOW how hard it is to have a parent living in the house with you. My mom lived with us for nearly 3 years. At least she helped clean up and contributed to the grocery bills, but it was not easy. We get along a lot better now that she is living elsewhere. Good luck! I hope you get this taken care of before your husband deploys. It's hard enough dealing with a deployment without the added stress of having his dad there--especially if he's like you say he is.


    Answer by SimplyLaine at 9:55 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • This is something that needs to be delt with now now not later. Your husband has a family to think of, he is a married man now. Dad needs to move in with SIL and let you and your husband alone time with each other before he deploys. Sorry, but your DH needs to grow a set and put dad in line.

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:48 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I agree with ronjwake
    My DH just deployed and I couldnt imagine what it would be like if my MIL or FIL lived with us, but it sure wouldnt last long. Honestly depending on your states laws and how long he has lived with you, he may actually be considered a tenant now and you might have to get an eviction notice.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:45 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Check or no check.....the man is a man and he needs to find a place to go...not you, DH, or SIL. Tell DH: "I love you, but you have 24 hours to tell him he has 1 week to get out, or he will be kicked out." Then, hold true to your word.

    No one should have to put him up. He will find somewhere to go. He is using you and SIL sees that and has been smart by staying out of it as she will continue to do if she's as smart as I take her to be.

    Do not let FIL or even DH whine about it. Enough is ENOUGH!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • If he can afford cigarettes he can afford rent somewhere. My daughter had that problem and ended up moving back home here for a year with her boyfriend. Then when they moved back out his father was established somewhere else. That most likely is not an option for you, but be straight up and say Bye!

    Answer by MSugarKane at 7:01 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • the truth is your DH might not tell him so you need to before you lose your temper. I would tell him yes when your son goes to Iraq it will indeed mess up YOUR living arrangement. Tell him to look for a place for there will be no room at your place.......

    Answer by Midnite00 at 7:33 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Start handing him "bills" ~ rent, grocery service, laundry and cleaning service, etc. If you know what his check is, work it out so he can keep 33% and if he doesn't pay his "bill", he doesn't get the service. He will learn rather quickly that he can live on his own and I am sure he will have a greater desire to move afterward.

    Answer by p88hbear at 7:36 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • check around to see what a 1 bdrm or studio with utilities costs... then charge him that... or, after checking around for reasonable prices places drive him down to one and railroad him into signing a lease.

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 7:48 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Give him written notice to vacate the premises by ___________________. Say nothing else about it, remain calm. Then when that day comes, offer to help pack his belongings.

    Answer by slvrspoon98 at 7:49 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Agree w/ pp's answers, wanted to add that he's not respecting you or your home by throwing cig butts all over. Use this lack of respect to explain to dh why this is his responsibility to get him out before he deploys. It'll only get worse when he's gone but you may need FIL's help for some stuff why dh's gone so you shouldn't be "the bitch" that tells him to go, its dh's dad he needs to deal w/ it.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:33 AM on Dec. 20, 2009