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IS this morally right?

Ok my boyfriend wanted me to meet his best friends which so happened to be females. so we went to dinner together, That was about four days ago. So last night him and I went to dinner and he had a little to drink and told me that one of the girls he had actually dated and had sex with. Did i have a right to be pissed off? I felt disrespected and stupid. WHy would he think I would be ok going to dinner with his ex.


Asked by newmommyjazz at 9:59 AM on Dec. 20, 2009 in About CafeMom

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Answers (10)
  • He should have said something before the get together. that is weird. I wouldn't dump him but I would explain to him how it made you feel. If he doesn't get why it would upset you THEN I would end it with the guy.. if You have an opinion on the situation and he doesn't understand that then I would question compatibility...

    as some people have said they don't understand why it would be an issue.. that is a valid way to think about it. different people handle things differently. so communication about what you think is absolutely necessary now

    Answer by MoMoFu at 12:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Better he went out with you than without you. At least he came clean in the end. You have no reason to feel stupid. He is a guy and they don't always do things the best way. He must be proud of you to want to show you off to his friends from his past. Remember that was then and this is now.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:03 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Wow why didnt he tell you BEFORE the dinner? Thats what I would be the most livid about. It was like everyone knew but me at dinner. How rude, absent minded and disrespectful to you. See I never stood for shit like this with guys, theres too many out there, I would be dumping him. Or you can tell him theres no need to keep in contact anymore. (most guys keep in contact with ex's for booty calls. I would be running the other way.

    Answer by BLoNdIe121679 at 10:10 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I agree he should have told you before hand.. i had a similiar situation happen.. only his ex is friends with his aunt so she is always over his aunts house. i had no idea and hung out with them one night and when we got home he told me he had slept with her.. i was soo angry. i felt so stupid to sit there and chat with her, like they were all in on a big secret i had no idea about. im glad he told me, just wish i had known earlier. i dont have a problem with the girl or anything but its really hard to sit and be around people your SO has slept with!

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I think it was rather disrespectful. I mean how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot.  Tell you something I think you should rethink your relationship with said boyfriend.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • what i want to know is why people are so put off by the "EX" they are an ex for a reason... and in most cases of a NORMAL relationship, pose absolutely NO threat... personally, it would not have bothered me.

    a couple of my ex's are my best friends- our relationships ended on a mutual decision, and we were able not only to retain our friendship (which is what ANY good relationship is built from) but continued to let it grow.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:56 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • My advice is simple DUMP HIM! What a jerk.

    Answer by Learner at 11:01 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • It wouldn't bother me either. I slept with one of my friends once when I first met him and then 5 years later when I started dating my husband he was upset about it. I told him after we'd been dating a few months but he thought I should have told him sooner. I honestly didnt' tell him because I more or less forgot about it. My friend and I tried dating, it didn't work out, so we ended up friends. I just think of him just as a friend so I never thought to tell my husband differently.

    How long ago did they sleep together? It would have been nice of him to tell you before dinner, but maybe he didn't think of it.


    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 11:14 AM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • If he'd told you before you met her would you have treated her differently?

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • @notpanicking.
    i wouldn't have been any different because i wouldn't have been there.

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 11:56 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

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