Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I control a 3 year old who don't want to listen to what i tell him?

Answer Question

Asked by dragonfreak at 12:03 PM on Dec. 20, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Strong consistant DISCIPLINE/

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • When he doesn't listen you need to discipline him in some way. Spanking or time outs are the most popular forms at this age just depending on what you feel most comfortable with. But if he has no consequence to disobeying he has no reason to obey.


    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Do you not disipline him? if a child isnt used to be displined, they prob wont listen. if he doesnt want to listen, and throw tantrums. put him in time out. i would say. until he wants to listen. he may cry, scream, and yell at you. ignore it, and let him know the more he does that he will stay in timeout. i would personally get him his own little time out chair. or if u rather him stand make him stand, thats what i did when iw as a kid. lol GL hun

    Answer by Armywifelovely at 12:32 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • He's not listening because he knows he can get away with whatever he is doing. If you're not consistent with diciplin, you give in, or don't follow through he's not going to listen. Why should he? He doesn't have a consequence to what he's doing, so why should he behave and listen? Use time outs. Give him one warning, then if he disobeys again put him in time out. Whether it be on the floor beside the couch, or in a specific chair, just somewhere that he has to sit. One minute for every year he is old .. So if he's three then for three minutes. If he throws a fit when he's in time out, then for three minutes and every minute after that until he settles down. NEVER EVER give in when they're having a tantrum or fit, beacuse once they realize you will, they will throw a tantrum every single time after that. If he gets up, put him back without saying a word. And everytime after that until he stays.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:04 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • If children know what buttons to push to make you give in, they will push them every chance they get into trouble. If they know what gets you to walk away, they will manipulate that situation until you walk away. Kids are sneaky and crafty little creatures, but they will obey if they know you will stick to your guns. Do not give in, be consistant, and follow through. If you say "You'll get a time out the next time you hit your sister" then give him a time out the next time he hits his sister. Make sure to explain to him why he's getting a time out and then let him sit there. Then when time out is over, explain to him again why he was there and let him know that it isn't appropriate behaviour and why.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Depends on in what way he isn't listening. While I agree that you need to have a consistent means of discipline, sometimes aproaching your requests differently may help. For example, telling my son to put the balls back into his ball pit seldom gets me anywhere. Making it a game or having him "help" me do it works better. If I want him to stop doing something, I'll tell him to stop and suggest an alternative activity at the same time. I try to avoid endlessly starting sentences with the word "no". it gets old for both of us and you can usually reword things to get the message across. When all else fails, I'll warn him he's going to get a timeout. If the problem continues, he gets a timeout (which, admittedly, I've have mixed success with..) If all else fails and I max out, he goes into his room. That will usually solve the problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Always be consistent with rewards and discipline

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:34 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Stay consistent with your discipline, also pick your battles, but when you do stick with it and don't give in. It may be a struggle for awhile but eventually your son will know you mean business. If he doesn't listen put him in time out for 3 mins ( one minute for every yr.) If you try to be too controlling then your son wil act out more because he wants to show his independence, that's why you must pick your battles. For example, if getting your son to clean up his room is an issue it doesn't matter if he puts the toys where they go as long as he's putting them away.

    Answer by kstanley_86 at 10:30 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.