Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I catch him?

So lately my husband has been going on these disappearing acts. We just had our 3rd child about 3 weeks ago and he has not been around nearly as much as I would like him to be. He complains about me not being able to have sex and goes off and doesnt come home until the next day. Last night he told me he was going to my sisters house to hang out with my brother in law since they are good friends, my sister told me he left around 8pm last night, but he didnt get home until 2am and my sisters house is only 20 mins away. I confront him and he just lies about where he was. I dont know how to figure out the truth from him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Dec. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I don't know that you need to catch him. He's lying to you and that is enough. If you never catch him does it change anything? Will you stay UNTIL you catch him? Just some questions to ask yourself. Be careful with your body too...it sounds like he either has some bad habit or is sleeping with another woman and either way he's putting you at risk of STDs.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • He sound like my first husband yikes!!! If you give them enough rope they will hang themselves mine had to many gf's to even count he use to have one of them drive him around and they would park right up the street from our house when I called him on it he had her pull right up in front of the house and honk the horn!!! Then he wondered why I wanted to kick her a**....men can be so stupid.

    So sorry you have to go through this crap hope things turn around for the better for you.

    ~Linda
    Lindles

    Answer by Lindles at 12:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • im not sure which cell phone company you use but i know that att has a new tracking device for their cell phones and you can locate it anywhere using the internet or your phone!! maybe you could put a take recorder or something under his car seat...have someone follow him in a car he doesnt know and have a camera ready..there are so many things you can do..i hope you dont find out something bad..i wish you the best of luck hope some of those helped
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Sweetheart... Try this. and its not very expensive. if you have a Mp3 player, or a ipod. im not sure if ipods have it.. but I know for sure MP3 players have a recording thing on it. Put it under his seat in the car. make sure its charged completely and put recording on. and whenever he comes back home, and he is sleeping be sneaky and go out to the car and listen to the whole thing.. I would, if I thought hubby was doing that
    Armywifelovely

    Answer by Armywifelovely at 12:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • You could leave your cellphone on in his car and listen to his whole night from your housephone:)
    Shyma

    Answer by Shyma at 1:24 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • I agree with a PP. He's lying, that should be enough. If you catch him at what he's doing that doesn't change the fact that he's being shady, dishonest, and sneaking around. All it does is put a "where" to why he's been shady. The reason doesn't justify the means either, and he's already proven that he can't be trusted. At least that's what it appears to be.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:00 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • If y husband was going out and not coming home until the next day with no good explanation..he wouldnt be coming home. Hes up to no good, hes lying to you and thats enough.
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 3:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Sometimes it's not important to know what he does but to know what he does NOT do. He does not respect his marriage, his wife and family. I'd tell him to get his priorities straight or else he can go live with whomever he was with until 2 a.m.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:57 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • While I agree that his lying and disappearing acts are enough, you need proof to take to court. I'd suggest following him but since you have a newborn that might not be something you can do. You might see if you can get a relative to help. Other than that, try some electronic devices to record him. The best thing would be to get him followed and get pics and find out who he has been with. If he is cheating you can drag him and his piece of trash into court.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Girl there is only one way you can catch him, and that is......STOP ASKING! He will never tell you the truth that he is playing you for a fool, they never do, they think we're stupid. Turn the tables on him, follow him and see where he is going, never ask, do not give him room to clean things up, follow him, that way you will get your honest answer.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 4:53 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN