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So, what would you do???

If I see my son mistreating his toys or not taking care of them, I will put whatever it is away for another day. If it continueswhen he gets it back, I tell him that I will either throw the toy away, or give it to another child and he won't see it again. This always puts that bug in his ear and it's fine for a few days. I say the same when he doesn't comply with me asking him to clean up. Lately when I ask my son to pick up his toys though, he pretty much refuses. Well, maybe this is getting old and repetitive to him, because he has started saying, "Okay, throw it in the trash" or "Okay, take it to the other kids". I know he's probably just testing me to see if I follow through. So should I? I mean, I would never throw away toys, but should I go ahead and take them away from him for good? I just don't know what to do.. it makes me feel like I'm bargaining with a 3 year old, and I'll be dammed.

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JDanesMommy

Asked by JDanesMommy at 10:54 PM on Dec. 20, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (14)
  • YES FOLLOW THROUGH !!! The worst thing as parents that we can do is give idle threats. The child learns this pattern and we make it worse by not doing what we say we will. If it's a toy that means a lot to him hide it in the trunk of your car for a month or so but other toys give them away to childrens shelters, etc etc. In fact make him go with you when you drop them off so he sees there is no going back. If he still refuses to pick up or play nice with his toys let him know you won't be buying him toys for Xmas, his birthday or at all etc etc, that you'll only be buying him clothes and books since he cant treat his toys well. Good luck
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 10:56 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Oooooh lady, it's tough. Would you be up for a situation where he got a chance to earn them back after storing them a while? My son is pretty bad that way too and I just stored them in the garage. But I'm always at him to treat things with respect. I posted a question about this too. Every time he ruined a toy, I'd take the value of the toy out of his piggy bank. This he really hated but I worried it was too harsh. Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:57 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Hell YES, you always follow through!!!! ALWAYS!!! Regardless of the threat!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 11:04 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • No such thing as too harsh when you are attempting to teach a child respect! That is one very important attribute that children need and too many parents are lax with it nowadays! I have met so very many disrespectful children of all ages, that is why I really hate children!! They have no respect for their elders anymore!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 11:09 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • We've been dealing with something similar. My girls have about a thousand crayons (no, I'm not even exaggerating), and they never pick them up. I recently started collecting them and sticking them in the cupboard where they can't reach. I'm hoping when they get down to only a couple crayons, they will realize they've made a mistake. I plan on making them earn them back, but I haven't decided how yet.

    With other toys, we've threatened to send them to my husband's office if the kids couldn't share or clean up after themselves and it has worked.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • It sucks because I have a friend that made her 3 year old watch her and her DH put a bunch of her toys she didn't want to clean up in a trash bag and had her walk it to the trash with them. They ended up giving the toys away, but had been telling her daughter she was going to throw them away. And that was their follow through. When she told me, my reaction was OMG, Please don't let me have to do that... But it's looking like I will have to. Putting the toys away for an extended amount of time does sound like a good idea. I dontae old clothes and toys all the time, so taking him with me to donate one of his toys will most likely be an eye opener for him.... I'd HOPE!
    JDanesMommy

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 11:22 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • IF you dont follow through he wont take you seriously. I have gone as far as bringing trash bags in and having my son load them up, yup it sounds mean but hey I want to be taken seriously and I want him to know that when i say something he better listen because i mean what i say. If you really truly dont want to toss the toy then hide it in the garage lol I have done that and months later (in one case 2 years later) we found the toys and my sons laughed and then we donated them.

    this week bedrooms didnt get cleaned the first day i asked so i said thats it pick a present because whatever one you pick gets put away till your birthday, funny by the end of the day all 3 bedrooms were spotless and they were offering to help with anything else. Dont let your kids play you, they are smart and figure things out very quickly.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:29 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Thanks everyone: ) Having to make grown up decisions really blows sometimes, lol. I'm going to feel bad doing it, but it has to be done!
    JDanesMommy

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 11:47 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • Don't give him so many choices in toys. Have just a few he really likes and will take better care of. Give the others away
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:18 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Maybe instead of throwing it away or giving it away, you could take it away for longer, like 2-3 weeks or even a month? So then that way you're not going through toys a lot.
    I do agree with the PPs- don't make idle threats. Kids will take a mile from an inch!!
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 12:29 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

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