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Stop it grandma!

Why do old people feel the need to start acting as if their deaths are coming at any moment...? I know my grandma is getting up there and she's slowing down a bit...but good golly...she acts like she's already sick and crippled and in bed all day and she isn't! She gave me a cookbook I used to play with and look through as a kid because she wanted me to have it...she gave my mom a necklace she had given her years ago...she mentioned wanting her cabinets refaced but then said "But I don't really see the point, we may not be living here much longer anyway". Stop it grandma! You aren't dead yet! You may live another 30 years for all you know! And it seems to be all old people! My mom's grandma did this for literally 20 years before she actually passed away. It's so depressing. Let me enjoy you while you are here instead of planning your demise! Anybody else encounter this with older people?

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Asked by ErinHill226 at 12:13 AM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (2,504 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Is she maybe worried that her wishes won't be followed as to what should be given to whom? IF she gives it to you beforehand she knows you have it. Yes, it sucks, because you don't want to lose her. But if its giving her piece of mind, then I would just deal with it. Maybe you should talk to her about preplanning so she feels more prepared, no matter when it happens. When my great-grandmother passed away in 1976, everyone was amazed that my mom knew what she wanted at her funeral, and wanted to know how she knew so much. My mom just said "I asked her." , my great grandfather didn't even know. But mom knew what color she wanted dressed in, who should do the service, her favorite hymns, etc. It doesn't have to be formal for planning the "service" but for a Will or something it should be done by an attorney.


    Answer by Lesli at 12:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • it's normally because they have lived their lives and they are ready to go on. It is really depressing, but I would just encourage her to remember everything she has right now in her life. And that you love her being around. I know it's hard, but when they get older and they see all the pain everyone is going through they just get tired of it. I hope things get better!

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 12:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Oh, my mom was raised by her grandparents and so she actually did most of the funeral planning anyhow.

    Answer by Lesli at 12:24 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • My grandma spent my entire childhood 'dying'. She'd say stuff like "I sure hope you come over for Christmas because I might not be here for next year's Christmas" all the time in a depressed moany voice. It was very frustrating. We all felt like she was trying to guilt us into spending time with her. Sadly, when she really did die (when I was 33), none of us grandkids were that shocked. She'd never let us know her as a living person, only a dying one.

    I hope that if I ever get like that, someone sets me straight in a hurry.

    Answer by May-20 at 1:17 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Sounds like Grandma's a little depressed. It happens in a lot of older people. They're lonely and have LOTS of time to focus only on the negative, not on the postive, you know....the glass is almost empty instead of almost half full. I have one grandmother like that and she's 90 years old and on antidepressants. She gave away everything, lives with the least possible and seems to never be satisfied. We still love her dearly.

    My other 90 year old grandmother just passed away last month. She was the exact opposite, not giving away a darn thing, and it was a PAIN, still IS, to sort through her things, settle the estate, decide who is getting what, etc. We wish she'd have done a bit more giving away during her lifetime.


    Answer by michiganmom116 at 10:41 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I feel this is very unhealthy for the old person. They talk themselves right into being "old". My dad did this for about 2 years, then he really did die!

    Answer by robyann at 1:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

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