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What is wrong with me?

Five years ago I left my husband cause he chose his rasist family over me. I was angry for awhile, but never fully got over him. Now I've been with my children's father for four years, and he is a complete ass. Always drinking and cussing and making me hate him. Anyway... I find myself missing my husband, and ( even though I had a good reason to walk away) wanting him back. Other than the issue with his family, he was a really great guy. I dont know why I'm feeling this way, it's not like he'd take me back, even if I begged. which I'm not going to. What would you do if you were me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • find a better situation. No offense but drinking and cursing doesn't sound like a healthy envirnment that I would want my children in so I would go.

    I know how u feel tho. dont get me wrong. i've been in your position. I didn't go. it was messy
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 2:21 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Honestly it sounds like you are leaning on men who aren't good to or for you. It sounds like you've gone from one man who didn't love you right to another man who did the same, and then possibly back to the other one again. Maybe its time to be on your own and just focus on giving and showing love to the kids I'm sure you love so very much. Maybe if you can be without both of them you can learn yourself and see why it is you want these men who don't treat you well. I know being alone is scary, but it can also be great for you and your family. Make a decision not to be a victim to either of these abusive men.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:22 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Well if you and ex are two different racists I'd stay moved on. If your same race as ex I'd find out if ex inlaws are still racists - if they are still racists whether or not you and ex are same or different races I'd also stay moved on.

    Whether we have a so or a husband we all do have to deal with inlaws. Why choose inlaws that are known to be so troublesome from your own past?
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I know it is scarey to be alone but it sounds to me that you need to leave and spend some time alone and get to know who you really are and what you really want out of your life. Both of these "men" sound like losers so just get and stay away from them both of them father of your children or not. These are not healthy men to be around for your children or you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • i would leave him and block out your ex husband. find things to keep you occupied. leave the "man" your with. he doesnt deserve you, nor your children. he obviously doesnt respect you or your children. move out of the city if you find yourself remembering your ex. it'll help give you a fresh start! other than that, im not sure theres much else you can do other than go to counseling. thats really all i can think of... sorry if i wasnt a big help =/
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 3:11 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Get out of the current relationship. Spend lots of time figuring out why you keep attracting and accepting losers into your life. Learn to love yourself enough to not need some man just to make yourself feel better. Teach my children how to make relationship decisions based on character rather than on emotional attachment. You will probably need to do some research on that subject and there is plenty of it available. So you can fill your time with reading and learning and then teaching. If you have as your goal making your children's lives better than yours has been, there is still time to enjoy a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Been there and done it, and it is very rewarding.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:33 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

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