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My children just lost their father, ha anyone else dealt with this?

Last month, my ex-husband died unexpectantly. I have 6 kids from 7 to 21 who are all shocked and grieving. I feel so alone since his death. Even though we were divorced we had a very positive relationship and he was my main parenting support.Does anyone understand the crushing feeling of responsibility and isolation i'm feeling?

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pastaplease

Asked by pastaplease at 8:34 AM on Dec. 21, 2009 in About CafeMom

Level 5 (94 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I can't say that I understand, but I can imagine... I think it's great that you guys were on such a positive note when he passed away. At least you have sooo many years of good memories. As for the children, just remind them how much he loved them and how much you love them. It's going to be hard to deal with throughout the holidays, but let them grieve... You will all realize how strong you are. Hang in there and God Bless you and your family.
    itsjaimiehere

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 8:42 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I don't personally but my best friend lost her husband unexpectedly when she was six months pregnant with their second. She always says that the first holidays aren't the issue but the second ones are when it really hits you because of the shock, even if it's been months. I've been by her side these five years and it hasn't been easy, but you get through it doing whatever it is you have to. Counseling may not be a bad idea for the kids, especially the younger ones if they are having a harder time. Her oldest is autistic and I think that it's helped for him. Also, sometimes. even the one that didn't know his dad will try to play her so be on the lookout for that. It's so easy to give in under the idea that they dont' have a dad anymore. Good Luck and I'm sorry this happened to your family.
    heatheryn

    Answer by heatheryn at 8:51 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your and your children's loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

    I did loose both of my parents suddenly when I was 13. Honestly, it was just a couple years ago when I started grieving. I was in shock for a very long time. I tried to convince myself (and succeeded at times), that I was spending the night with my aunt & uncle and my parents would come & get me in a week or so. Well... they never came.
    I wish I could offer some great advice, but I can't. I haven't been in your, or their shoes. I am so sorry... Just know that life does get better and with time, the pain will ease.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 2:27 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Thoughts and prayers to you and your children. I'm so very sorry for your loss, and I hope that God's grace will be with you now and in the future.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 2:46 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • im sorry 4 you and your childrens lost.i havent experienced that but i could only imagine as well.i honestly think talking about it will help make you all grieve better.explain to the little kids daddys with the angels and hes with them and there gonna take care of him. keeping emotions balled up inside is never good.i will pray for you and your family to get through this.if you need to talk just message me.im also in a group called h.b.i.c.the girls there are really nice and im sure they will be there for you as well. click on the link if you want to.tell them desi2sweet sent you.sometimes it really is good to talk to people, it helps.god wont ever give you anything you cant handle mama, you'll pull through and so will your family.good luck to you and your family, and just know that hes not gone, he is still in your hearts and watching over you.

    http://www.cafemom.com/group/105849/
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 6:56 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

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