Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it wrong to say No when we don't feel like having Sex?

My hub want to have sex more often than I want to. This has been an issue lately between us.As a wife is it practically our obligation to give in to their demands beyond our will?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • No it is not wrong or unhealthy to say no!!!! Now it becomes rape when you say no and they force you into the act anyways. How ever if your libido is lower than usual talk to your ob, there's medicine for females that like viagra for men! But if you're depressed, pms'ing, or just recently had a baby these could be a factor to the low sex drive as well. Be open and honest with dh why you don't want to, because open lines of communication promote understanding and paitience. I'm saying this so you won't worry about him going else where(although you can't keep a man or woman from cheating once the lust for another has begun!), or maybe that is the issue!? I didn't want my ex touching me once I doubted his loyalty!!! We all go through it at point of time or another so you are not alone or weird or wrong in any way!!! Best wishes and good luck!!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 9:06 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No. it's not your obligation. But, it's good for your relationship to keep your DH happy in the sack. It's OK to say no, but if you say no all the time, this could become a problem for you DH. I NEVER say no, but, i'm usually the one who wants it more than DH...lol!

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:53 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • What?
    No. That is akin to rape.

    Sex, in every situation ever - should always be mutually wanted.
    ladysavage

    Answer by ladysavage at 8:53 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • As a shift worker and mother of 17 month old twins, I tell my DH no A LOT more than yes. And he deals with it. Does he like it? Hell no. But most days all of my energy goes into my job and my kids and he understands that. Sure he'd love a wife that would drop trou everytime he felt the urge but reality is a harsh place to live. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Period. If you DH doesn't understand that well that's too bad.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 8:59 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Of course it is not wrong. What is wrong is for your husband to not respect your feelings and try to pressure you.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:04 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No, of course not. If you feel guilty for not pleasuring your husband as much as he wants, then maybe there is some sort of comprimise you can come up with. Maybe you should tell him that if he wants more sex, then he should make an effort to get you in the mood by being sweet and romantic.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:25 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Why should you have to say yes when you don't feel like it? I don't think a man or woman should have to have sex if they are not in the mood for it. We all have bad days, stress, don't feel well etc. As long as it's not all the time then I don't see a problem with saying no. But if it's getting to be a problem between the two of you, you should sit down and discuss how you feel about it and why you don't want too at times.
    SophiaofLight

    Answer by SophiaofLight at 10:30 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I dont think its necessarily wrong to say no, but I do think it is important to watch how much you say no. How would you feel if when you need to talk to your man, or when you need to be held, kissed, hugged, helped, your man always said no? Those are some of the main ways a woman connects with a man. The way a man connects with his woman, and feels love, is mainly through sex. By saying no to a him you are saying his needs are not important enough, that you don't want him to feel close to you. Obviously we all have our days and sometimes you really really need to say no. But try not to make those days too often. You wouldn't want him to ignore your needs all the time. Sex for him is just as important as him being there is to you. Definetly make sure you are saying yes way more than you are saying no!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • i dont think you have to always say yes but i think its healthy to just say yes even sometimes when you want to say no..
    just to not make sex an arguement.. however, if you really just dont feel like it then he should deal with it.. but to keep the peace i have sex alot of times when i dont want to
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

Next question in Relationships
continued

Next question overall (Religion & Beliefs)
WHAT IS YULE?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN