Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I stay or go?

I have been with my bf for about a year now. We kinda fight a lot and the biggest issue is that he never comes over. I get so lonely and have thought about cheating too many times. He comes over maybe 2 to 4 times a week. I am having a hard time because I love him so much. We don't have chidren together or live together. I just don't know anymore.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Perhaps you should make a bigger commitment if you are ready. A year is plenty time to make the next step- moving in together. If he doesnt want to make that commitment, you gotta move on and find somebody else. He hasnt proposed to you, he hasnt suggested moving in together, has he even mentioned marriage sometime in the future? A break may seem drastic, but it may just be the kick in the ass he needs to step up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • uh, 2-4 times a week is alot if he is just your boyfriend. I think you need to find some friends to go do things with or just go do your own thing. Soon your bf will want to spend more time with you just because of that.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:47 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I would cut your losses NOW. He doesn't respect you, you are worth more than that. Realize your value as a woman and be happy with it. Get on your feet by yourself (for you and your children) THEN in time the right man will come along and sweep you off your feet. Set your standards higher.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 12:59 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • if your biggest issue is that he ONLY comes over 2-4x a week then you have it made. Does he cheat on you, does he hit you, does he spit in your face, does he abuse you mentally, does he call you names. If you answer yes to one or more of those questions, i'd say yes you should leave him, but think, he might just have a life outside of you. He might be spending time with his friends or his family or maybe he's having some me time. If he works, he might be too tired to go anywhere after work. Talk to him, you never know where this relationship might go, he might be the one that you grow old with. Dont be so quick to dismiss him because out of 7 days he's there 4. Oh and dont cheat, be the classy lady that i'm sure you are. its not worth possibly catching a disease because your lonely, just talk to the man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I'd tell him that I have needs and he needs to pony up and take care of them or you will have to find a supplemental mode of satisfaction! Guys love a challenge! If he doesn't know you have more needs than twice a week he might think he's doing good. Just tell him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:38 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • At this point I'd have to say go. How long do you want to date? Have him come over 2 - 4 times a week and just be a boyfriend? It doesn't sound like you're happy with that and if he is, you're on two different paths and it might be time to call it quits. Talk to him. Try not to sound like you're giving him an ulitmatum though. Just tell him your feelings and whatever it is you want in your relationship so you can be happy. If he doesn't want to get serious, time to let go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • if you love him so much why do you think about cheating? two to four times a week is alot for a boyfriend. when i first started dating my so he only came over twice a week. now we live together and are happy. if you aren't happy with your relationship either try getting more serious like moving in together or leave him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • When you are in a relationship trust plays a big factor. If you love him then you need more trust. If you would like to see him more often maybe you could suggest more outgoing things to do. I found out that men are very recreational and loves a women that suggest things to do. But does he work or go to school that takes up alot of his time? Then you should want a man that's taking care of his business as well. Try telling him that you love him and would like to see more of him. But dont mention the cheating part because you want to show him that you trust him, and that you're not worry about what he's doing when you two are not together. If he doesn't want to see you more often then try canceling on him and let him know that you have other things to do as well, then maybe he will try a little harder to see you.
    witness833

    Answer by witness833 at 10:39 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.