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Do you ever feel guilty?

I just spanked my son for miss behaving after I talked to him so many times I finally got up and gave him a good spanking, even then he would laugh at me so what I did I spanked him even harder until he started to cry (real tears) I feel so bad and guilty but he does not listen to me he does listen to dad but by the time he gets home I have already pulled all my hair out...Help!

He already did sentences 20 times on behaivor but I guess it did not phase him bc he went right back on being bad...what else can I do with him :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • Ground him--no friends over to your or going over to their houses, no TV, no toys/games for a day to a week (depending on the infraction). Make him do dirty chores as punishment (clean the toilets, floor, take out the trash, etc.) Whatever you do, the punishment needs to fit the "crime," and you need to be consistent and follow through on the punishment until the job or grounding is complete. Many parents let kids "slide" when they start behaving well, and then are shocked when kids start misbehaving again. If you hold your ground, your son will learn that you cannot be pushed around. He may not like it, and may say he hates you, but trust me, he WILL respect you more in the end!! :o)

    The more you yell, the less children hear! But they DO understand losing favorite toys and privileges!! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:43 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Take away something he loves; computer time, tv time, Gameboy, whatever it is. Stick to it for how ever long you take it away for also.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Strip his room down to only a bed. Take absolutely everything away from him until he he *earns* it back.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:52 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Stop spanking him because it, obviously, isn't working. If you had to continue to spank him until he cried real tears, that is no longer discipline but on the verge of abuse. You should NEVER spank out of anger or frustration. Get the book, "1 2 3 Magic" read it all the way through and then follow it. It is a discipline technique that doesn't involve spanking, takes the emotion out of discipline and works very well. Make sure you are being consistent. Don't yell, don't scream. You would be amazed at how behaviors change when you talk WITH your kids and show them appropriate ways of acting. Kids are not mini adults that automatically know how they should act, they need to be taught how to.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Spanking DOES work on some kids- and the saying "This hurts me more than it hurts you" should be the case. It should never be done out of anger. But if it's not working, you need to try something else. Not all kids respond the same. So maybe he needs to be talked to and then he needs to lose a privilege like tv, video games, dessert after dinner, his favorite toy, etc. But before taking away the privilege, give him at least one chance to keep it. So warn him what will be the result if he disobeys. Also, don't say, wait until your daddy gets home, (if you do), because that just says to him that you have no authority over him.
    amg27

    Answer by amg27 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Ground him, Make him do more work around the house, take away his fave toy.. don't allow tv or friends over.etc
    kathynej7142007

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I don't believe in spanking, in my house we use the time out system and if that doesn't work I take things from my daughter that she loves and she has to earn them back.
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 8:20 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • I think spanking works too under the right circumstances but like others said, it's ineffective for you. Seriously, read Super Nanny's book for good ideas. Maybe he's just desperate for positive attention? Taking things away is a good idea. Whatever you do, be consistent. Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:13 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

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