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Do I need to bother with telling her she's too wild for me?

I feel sort of bad for saying this, but a "friend" of mine is completely wacko. She was married when I met her again. We knew each other in school. She got divorced &didn't even tell me. She doesn't tell me anything these days, but randomly calls for a 2 minute non-conversation in which she's screaming at her kids, or talking to someone else the entire time. She passed out on my couch the last time she was here, from some pills she took while her kids destroyed my house. She's gone through several men, looking for someone to be a Daddy to her kids. (her own words) Even getting married to a guy after knowing him TWO weeks. She didn't tell me about that, either. Now she's with someone else. Her life is just too dramatic for me. We used to hang out, but now I only hear about/from her on Myspace. I have tried & failed in the past to talk to her about her choices, and her life. I don't have the energy for her anymore!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • sometimes you have to get rid of toxic people in your life for your own health.......sounds like it's time to write her off, she doesn't seem to care anyway, she's too wrapped up in herself and her wants to care about you or your true friendship.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 1:44 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Two words...Caller ID!!! LOL Seriously, it's time to stop any and ALL forms of communication with her--by phone, on MySpace, everywhere. If you run into her in person or she just "drops by" unannounced, tell her you're too busy to hang out, make up an excuse that you're going somewhere, or you're in the middle of something. Don't return messages, and eventually she'll find someone else to dump her problems on--unless of course you really like the drama!

    I've had to do this with some people in my life that have taken turns for the worse, and no amount of reasoning or advice giving seems to work. Sometimes it's better to just sever ties, cold turkey, and go your separate ways. People do grow up and grow apart. It happens.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • .When she started cheating on her DH she started calling me again to go with her to "go to town" but really she meant she wanted to meet the guy somewhere. I was her alibi. Then at one point, she called me 8 times a day even asking me once, "do you think I should paint my nails!' WTH?! I avoided her calls because I couldn't get on with my own life if I got on the phone with her. She will NOT listen to anyone about going to a doctor to get back on her meds or about not hooking up with these guys she barely knows. She has custody of her younger kids, and they are seeing her with these random guys since she moves them in with her all the time. I know I don't have to agree, but I also don't like her bringing a different guy to my house when she randomly pops up for a 5 minute visit. I have three kids and my DH is going to Iraq in 2 weeks. I just can't deal with her wild lifestyle right now. I have enough stress.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Agh..high maintenance friendships...I hate them too...got rid of all of them after I left high school...picked one up where I work now and am trying to politely distance myself at this point. Urrrrgh good luck....
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 4:38 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I don't want to be hateful, but she stresses me the eff out just being on the phone with her! She came over here one day talking so fast I could barely catch up. About this guy she pressed charges on but still talks to, and this guy asking her out, and this guy she's married to that is psycho. Its just way too much for me. Everyone has their moments, but she's been in one of those crazy moments for 2 years!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I hate to say that I screen calls. It's nice that we only have our cell phones, no land lines, so everyone's number comes up and I can choose to answer or not!
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 4:51 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Lose her. My cardinal rule is, if I am suffering more than benefitting from a friendship, then I end it. It can be painful at first, but trust me, you are way better off than having someone who takes more than they gvie. There are just too many nice people out there to spend time and energy on the bad ones.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 5:00 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • cut her loose i had to do this recently with a relative and the first couple of weeks i wondered if i made the right choice but it really feels good to be less stressed. and when i cut her loose i made a couple of drama free friends that i enjoy hearing from and talking too. her drama was more of the he said she said crap tryin to turn people on one another and it drained me so much it strained my other relationships, now im back to happy go lucky playful me
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 5:43 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • and i should add i went as far as changing all my phone numbers and email addresses and blocked her from all social sites
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 5:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

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