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am i a bad mother?

So I work full time and am very rarely home 2 full days in a row with dd who is 2. I was off today and I was off yesterday and she is driving me nuts! I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow! I love her VERY much! But she's too much two days in a row. I just feel so bad that I feel this way about my own daughter. Does that make me a bad mother?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • next day being an at home relaxed day. This seems to help a lot. I have activities planned at home. So I get the barn house out and all the animals, spread in on the kitchen floor and we play together. Then moving on to coloring, chase around the house...but I know what we are going to do. Sometimes I do one big activity or outing then come home to a smaller one. When it is time for him to play independently and have some down time away from me he is more receptive. We also have less personality clashes because we have just created some good memories not to mention he feels loved and supported.  Any mother questioning why you "even have children" is quite frankly a judgemental bitch.  Being you means wearing many different hats.  Your a wife, a mom, an employee, a friend, a neighbor, a member of a club/ can be difficult to be all things to all people.  Be kind to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back.


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:49 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Nooooooooooooo way mama. I have twin 17 month olds and I don't mind saying I love them, but I love them more when they go to daycare! LOL. I think the time apart just makes us all appreciate the time together more.

    You're not a bad mother! You're a normal mother! Now I'm sure you're going to get the "I live in the world of rainbows, sunshine and flowers" moms who've spent every second of their child's life with them telling you "GASP! I would NEVER say ANYTHING so VILE about my BELOVED DARLING! blah blah BLAAAAAH". Meh....tell them to go fly a kite and take another prozac ;) Having a break from your kid(s) is healthy.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:02 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No, Sometimes I feel the same.. work to me is a break from them.. sad to say but true. During the 2 days you are off - might try doing more with her.. (park, exc) things you can do together.. then things she can do alone while you sit and watch.. it makes it easier! Or, make sure she has a safe room - free of all harm. put up a baby gate blocking her in and just check on her from time to time.. give yourself an hour or so without her up your rear.. if the room is safe.. and she is safe.. there is nothing wrong in it.

    Answer by luckycharms0406 at 9:02 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Makes me wonder why you had a child... I have been home with all 3 of ours since they were born and I love the time I have with them... They're all in school now and I was so glad when school was out Friday, they will be home until Jan 4.
    I think what you need is more time with your daughter, then maybe you can learn to be together and enjoy your time. JMO

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • means you need to spend more time with her. reason for her driving you nuts is shes probably not used to you being around so much so shes very thrilled, excited and wants your attention as much as possible. a child so young shouldnt have to do that, no offense, i know your job calls to pay bills and stuff, but if you are that busy why have a child?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • It is hard to adjust when you are away so much. I give you a lot of credit for recognizing the problem. Now you need to solve it. Maybe you are trying to make up for a whole week in 2 days and it's too much pressure.

    Whatever the problem is, you are going to have to fix it. This precious baby girl needs her mommy! Can you give yourself permission to take breaks from her during the day? Maybe give her half hour tv breaks so you can recharge. Even if you sit and cuddle with her the down time may help.

    She must miss you terribly, and if she is anything like my son (since he started school and is away most of the day), she is up your butt whenever you are around. Try to giver her your undivided attention for a hour in the morning and see how she reacts. I bet that she will be more likely to play independently later in the day.

    I am a SAHM and my guys are with me almost 24/7, sometimes they just bug you.

    Answer by jdanielle82 at 9:08 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Children will do anything to gain your attention, even if it's bad behavior, she's knows it gets you to notice her so she's going to act out more because of it. Spend more time with her, make it a point to read at night, stay in a good routine and see if that helps. I can agree that we all need a break, but it sounds to me like you get breaks, now you need to make the time you do have with her count... GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Oooo I really like that "safe room" idea...give you two a break from eachother for a short bit. Great one luckycharms!

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Ummm excuse me but I had her bc dh and I are in a wonderful committed relationship and decided to have a child. Oh and btw I only work when she's sleeping. Seeing as I work third shift. Her father and I take care of her on opposite shifts so its no like I'm gone all the time. I do spend a lot of time with her everyday during the day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Oh and btw thanks for all the supporting good answers and advice! I really do appreciiate it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Dec. 21, 2009