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What do you think?

okay, so my hubby and I have a great sex life... then all of the sudden, he's looking up porn all the time.. I don't know for sure but I think he has like, 30 pictures of naked women on his phone alone(YES I know all guys like porn, he's always looked at it sometimes, but its like ALL THE TIME!).... AND our sex life, as in frequency, duration, quality etc has gone way, wayyyy down hill. Whats going on with him? Does this mean he doesn't find ME attractive anymore or what?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • he's addicted. he needs help.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 9:16 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Hi, wife of a recovering porn addict here:

    Yeah, he's addicted. One of the biggest reasons addicts don't have the best "duration" is they masturbate a lot, and get used to getting it out quickly...the semen being thinner or runnier is also a dead giveaway of frequent masturbations.

    So first things first - you need to know that with addicts, it's not about you - you could be the hottest sex kitten in the world, and an addict would still look at porn.

    Also, addicts can't stop on their own with sheer will-power, he'll need help. I hope he's willing to get help; it's a long difficult road to getting out of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • It's not about you. He has some serious issues it sounds like
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:57 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Ok, the thing is that he DOESN"T masturbate all the time. He doesn't work in the winter, and I'm a stay at home mom, so I would be aware of any opportunities he had to masturbate...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Alright, so I have to admit I asked my hubby on this one. We're very open sexually and he is a fan of porn..lol. This is what he said....."Stop concentrating on the porn, it's not a big deal and it's not the real issue. He's looking at porn more often b/c it's easier. He has a sexual drive but doesn't want to mess with all the "hassle" that comes with having sex. Take the initiative to arouse him in a way you don't normally do. Put on a pair of stockings, wear sexy panties, etc. Do something out of the ordinary to spark his attention." He says that it's probably not that he doesn't find you attractive anymore, but sometimes you need to spice things up to get a man's attention, especially if he's used to seeing you everyday, the same way, same clothes, same look, etc. And by the way - DH says don't fool yourself. He IS masturbating. Doesn't he take showers? You'd be surprised the places/times people find time do have their fun!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Also, I think the addiction thing is wrong. By definition a porn addiction interferes or impairs your daily life, not just your sex life. He is living normally, this is just a phase. Don't freak out - just get a little freaky with him :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

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