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Should I have torn up her picture?

My 6 year old went into my office and took a sharpie which she is not supposed to have. When I walked in the room she ran out with it in her hand. So I asked her what she had and she showed me. Since she used the sharpie to draw a picture I tore it up.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (19)
  • I wouldn't have torn up the picture. You reacted out of anger. Get a grip on your emotions next time. It's not the end of the world. At the same time, she disobeyed your orders to stay out of your office, so sit her in a time out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I would not have tore up the picture, I would have told her that she is not supposed to use the sharpie because you do not permit it to be used and explain why. I also would have suggested to your daughter to use crayons or pencils instead. You shouldnt have torn the picture up because she may have thought she is a poor artist.

    Answer by Alicia10-2-08 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No. You reacted out of anger. All you have taught her; by example, is when you are upset to destroy someone else's property. Don't be so shocked if she gets mad at you and destroys something you really care about. Think before you RE-ACT, because often reactions are emotionally based are not reasonable nor appropriate for children.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:57 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I wouldn't have done so. I just would have taken the marker back and told her to ask next time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • i think I am definitely missing something on a lot of these tore up a picture your little girl had made for you? Why would you do that?

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 10:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • That was way too harsh of you and no you should have never torn it up! Getting upset and reacting like that like another poster said is only teaching her to react to things with violence and to destroy things. You could have took the picture and told her she couldnt have it until she said sorry or you could have put her in time out, or both even.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't have torn it up. I think that was an overreaction. I would've just taken the sharpie, explain to her that she knows better then to use one, and warn her of the punishment if she does it again. That's all.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:45 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I can understand your anger that she did something she was NOT supposed to do. That feeling of Mommy Madness and then the reaction takes over. Tearing up the paper was probably not the best response but it is not the end of the world. If this were me I would go to my son, explain that I was disappointed in the poor choice he made, explain what he needs to do in the future, and apologize for ripping his picture. I have responded in ways that l regret...usually about two seconds after. I have had to sit down with him, give him a hug, smile, and explain I was not right in my behavior BUT this is the poor choice you made and now this is the consequence for that choice. I assure him I love him but I just got upset. No parent is perfect and every parent has made similar mistakes.  Its easy to say we "would never" do this or that - but every parent I have ever known has made parenting no-no's.


    Answer by frogdawg at 12:08 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • You need to check yourself. Shame and put downs by tearing up the picture ISNT discipline, it's HURTFUL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • My daughter has done this before and I know how hurt she would be if I tore up what she had just made for me. I responded by taking all of her markers away for a couple of days and now she has to ask for them and sit at her art desk only when she wants to draw. Apologize and next time you will know how not to react. It was a mistake and she will forgive you.

    Answer by khedy at 9:34 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

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