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So has anyone ever gone through this?...

Have you ever cheated on your husband and didnt really care that you did but now your starting to feel bad? Not only did you cheat on him but you cheated on him with his own cousin. and you dont wanna tell your DH bcuz you know hes gonna be mad and probably leave but you love him so much that you want to tell but your scared of whats gonna happen. But you know the cheating should of never happened. it was a flirtatious thing that got way out of control. but what would you do? tell your DH or just be quiet and live with it for the rest of your life?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • No good could come of telling so take that secret to your grave with you. Learn from the mistake and don't do it again. Just make things better from today on.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Gosh, this is a tough one. I've never been in this situation, but if it were me, I probably wouldn't be able to live with the guilty. I would tell him and let the chips fall where they may. If that means divorce...well, I pretty much asked for it. I would rather be divorced then have to live with guilt. Maybe you should ask yourself why you cheated in the first place. Is there something in your relationship that you are not getting? Be honest with yourself and please don't live with guilt. GL
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • ooo..hard question. I cheated once, he doesn't know. We had enough problems and our problems began with him cheating with three different women. And I tried to get over it for 6 months. And then did my old "friend" buddy. I feel bad sometimes, but his cheating has brought so many problems into our relationship, I justify myself inside. I feel guilty at times, but let it slide. He isn't the type of guy you could get away doing that on & wouldn't even forgive me because I've truly never forgiven him for those 3 women (oh one of these women were his EX WIFE which added to it). My behavior shouldn't be excused by his actions, but I feel it's what "made me go there". I wish you could tell him, they say honesty is the best policy, but I totally understand your fear of him leaving or the relationship ending. Think really hard before you do it. Don't let it slip one night when you're valnurable or "drinking". I'd go with pros n cons
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Turn the situation around .. He cheats on you with your cousin .. Would you want to be with someone who's unfaithful to you? Regardless of the reasons, which don't justify it anyhow. You would want to know if he was skirtin' around behind your back. You know very well what you have to do. Own up to what you've done, take responsibility, and tell your husband. Yes, he is going to be pissed and he will most likely leave you. However, you have to take ownership of the consequences that you brought on yourself. He should know that his wife and his cousin are both unfaithful to him. You clearly don't love him if you can ALLOW yourself to have relations with another man. Let alone your husband's own family. You were selfish to cheat on your husband and you'll continue to be selfish by not telling him. Own up to what you've done and tell your husband that you're unfaithful.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Whatever you choose, you do need to get checked out for any possible STD's you might have picked up. It would be evil to pass something on to your husband because you're scared to tell him about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Honestly and i am being honestly, my conscience would eat me alive
    Id have to tell him
    others may say theres no point, but if ur hubby F!@#ed ur cousin or anyone else, im sure u'd feel like you should know about it

    Good Luck
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:41 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • In this situation, I wouldn't tell him. Only because it doesn't just affect your relationship with him, but also his cousin's relationship with him. If you do decide to tell, I would at least alert the cousin that you are going to tell him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • here are my thoughts, would you want him to find out from another source? 9 times out of 10 these things have their ways of coming out of the bag and not the way you would have like for them too. I would take a long hard look at what made me stray, then once i had figured it out, and figured out how to fix things so i would never be tempted again then i would go to dh and plead my case and pray for the best, it seems to me if you didnt feel bad about it at first and now you do, my guess would be at the time it happen your marriage was on the rocks and since then you guys have worked through things and now things are better, maybe in the back of your mind you thought your marriage was about to be over anyway so you didnt feel bad, but now that things are back on track you do. I would find answers to these questions and then talk to hubby before somene else does, what if cousin is feeling guilty too and he goes to dh about it
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • I agree with JazzlikeMraz. If you put yourself in his shoes, you would want to know if he did the same to you. Even though it hurts to be cheated on, being lied to I think hurts more. I would tell him and deal with the consequences. Unfortunately you made a choice that you now have to live with.
    Comfycozy77

    Answer by Comfycozy77 at 12:52 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • It will come out eventually. This isn't the first time you've posted something about your situation and I can't believe you still haven't grown the balls to tell him. I think it's likely that someone will find out. I think it's likely that if you don't come clean now, your relationship will end very bitterly because you will waste his life and he will hate you for it. Just remember, karma will come back to you and it's usually ten fold.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:55 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

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