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Unmarried Couple...last name for baby??

It's both our first. he's an only child & this is his parents first Grandchild. They are wonderful people, who made me feel at home & doted on me even tho first time meeting me I was already pregnant (At Thanksgiving) I felt comfortable & at home. Well, we just found out that the baby is a boy, Dad & Grandpa are ecastic & I'm having an issue on knowing what last name to give him. I, of course am expected to go with Dad's lastname ESPECIALLY since now that it's a boy. But my parents reminded me (I'm hispanic & he white) that depending on what baby looks like I may have to carry b.c with me due to our last names not matching wherever I go. I would be infuritated if ever questioned if the baby was mine if I was at a Dr's office etc. He brings marriage up & plans on us marrying, I don't (bring it up) due to problems of infidelity (on his part) in the beginning. Should I go with his last name? Both or Hyphen (SP?)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (39)
  • i went with my kids fathers last name we are not married but do both could make life easier down the road good luck, congradulations
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 11:14 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • We were unmarried when we had DD1. We ended up hyphenating but later decided that we were going to get married so we had it changed to just his before she was a year old. I had originally intended to hyphenate my name when we got married but MAN it was obnoxious to write that out for my DD let alone myself. Obviously I ended up just changing my last name and now we're all just one big happy family.

    That said, if you are not sure that you are going to marry I would hyphenate it. You can always change it later and if you do it's fairly cheap ($20 for us) to do it before your DS turns 1 year old. Good luck and congrats :)
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 11:15 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • my hubby and I were engaged when we had our son...VERY much planned on getting married, (our son was 9 1/2 mos). so our son took his last name, since I would too down the road.

    :)
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:22 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • hold on. I'm your typical dominican looking hispanic, my husband is black, dark skinned. My kids were both born with green eyes and very pale skin, my grandfather was white. No one ever asked if these kids were mine. a lady in the hospital was like , he's the father? wow. at the time we werent married and had diff. last names. no one ever asked for a bc. that doesnt even matter. my kids both had their dad last name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • my baby has his dads last name, we plan on getting married next year but even if we werent id still give him his last name because a man will probably never change his last name, say you get married to some1 else ur baby will have ur maiden name and not share a last name with anyone
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:31 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • also, babies dont walk around with ID cards, lol no ones gonna ask for one either so if ur baby doesnt look like no biggy, my moms white my dads black, i have my moms features and dads skin tone, as a baby i looked like no one lol and my mom said thru out my childhood she got questioned and alls she said was "yep she's all mine"
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Thankyou ladies. But I've had a few friends asked, one was even asked to bring an ID when she picked up her child. Also due to the fact that I'm adopted and proud of the ppl who gave me their last name. i will never (no matter who I marry) be dropping my name entirely...I'll hyphen it as well which may explain to some of you why I'll keep my last name around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • My daughter is biracial (her dad is white), and she doesn't have a dark complexion like I do. Yet people know I'm the mom and she's my daughter.

    I gave her my last name, for practical reasons.

    1. Her dad and I don't live together, and I am the custodial parent.
    2. I am the one who takes her to doctor's appointments, etc.
    3. My family lives on the west coast, so it's easier to travel with her when she has my last name.
    4. Her father and I are not romantically involved.

    She is now 18 months old, and just this evening I asked him, "Does the fact that Victoria has MY last name make you any less of a father?" He laughed and said "Of course not!". She doesn't need her daddy's last name to prove that she is his daughter.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:50 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • All of my 3 children have their father's last name. But we've been together almost 11 years and even I use his last name for anything that I don't need my "legal" name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • If you don't plan on marrying him give the baby your last name, for the practical reasons that Fallaya mentioned above. If you're unsure as to whether you will marry him just hyphenate it, you can always change it later. IMO it is always safer to have your child share a last name with it's mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

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