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i think my husband might be gay or at least bi...

when he first mentioned his gay co worker i thought nothing of it, just assumed that he talked about this guy cause he was interesting, but im starting to wonder. he comes home and its tom this and tom said this on and on. then he stayed up one night cause he couldnt sleep and the next moring he said he watched on of those shopping network sex toy show, then showed me the show he watched the next night its all about dildos, then the other night we were texting and he sent a messege to me saying what ya doing tom baby..and found out that he joined some chat thing called mocco or something like that and had the user name as gaydaddy....he said that tom used his phone to check this thing and tom always has been gay and has NO kids...and no bashing just want to know what you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Well, it's likely he is at least bi-curious, he is intrigued with Tom because it openned up a possibility to him. My husband is bi (prefers men to women) but he and I have a healthy romance. We just had to suppelment it with creativity and another lover (yes, go ahead and boo me). Basiccally it breaks down to this, do you love your man? Does he still come home and show affection despite his new obsession? If you said yes to these then you need to talk to him and be open and honest. His curiousity may easily remedied with a toy and bedroom games.

    Answer by sadchildlessme at 3:59 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • wow, your hubbies gay, sorry. he shouldn't have lied to you or himself all these years though. what a douche.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • hmm that is alittle awkward and I really dont know. I would sit him down and talk to him critically about his sexuality and whatnot.. I would do that if i was in your situation. talk to him about his childhood and such and move the conversation to sexuality and whether or not you are strait bi or whatever... make sure the guy feel like he talking to a friend or someone who will not pass judgment and see what comes of it

    Answer by MoMoFu at 11:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • wow, im not even sure what to say here, it sounds kind of like hes very much so in the closet, have you directly asked him about this, maybe you need to sit him down and tell him (as hard as it maybe) that you love him and you want him to be happy and he can not be happy living a lie. i really dont know what i would do, i mean clearly i wouldnt want to stay with someone that was gay and the thought that maybe he is cheating on you with a guy is a scary thought, if hes not being safe hes openning you up to an std (weather he was cheating with a guy or a girl he would be doing this) but i would tell him i want the truth

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:32 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • sounds gay to me. talk to him, soon

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • i tried asking, we been together nearly 10 years and i had my moments of curiosity before we got married so im the last person to pass judgment, but he blows it off or gets mad when i ask him and im not mean about it either.......if he is curious why cant he just tell me? i have no problem with him experimenting as long as he is safe about it...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Well, whatever way he swings - cheating on a spouse is still cheating on a spouse - (even if it is emotionally and not sexually)....and that's something worth confronting him about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Does he initiate sex with you? I ask because both my husband's grandpa and dad are gay. Their wives both said that they never wanted to have sex with them. They had to get drunk first.

    If he does than he's probably just bi.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • hmm initiate i really have to think about that one , but he does get turned on when he gives me a back rub. when we watched that show he seemed more intrigued than what i would think a guy would be....and i dont use toys i prefer the real thing so not sure why he would want me to watch it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • He may be curious? My husband had this "thing" He admitted or said he had a "thing" for trannys, he wasn't attracted to the males body, just the penis, but still PENIS! I had to find out before we got serious. I had him get with some1 (yes I knw I'm weird) & he said he didn't like it, grossed him out. Then after reading mens magazines I realized the whole gspot thing on males is found analy so they say, so I tried a few things on him myself & sometimes (yes, gross) put my finger up there to stimulate orgasm for him better & I waited till he came to me about it & he told me he realized it wasn't the "penis" that attracted him, it was the curiosity of what a penis up there or finger lol could do. it was weird & nasty but now he's comfortable with me our sex is great. I think he was embarrassed ex wife did the whole "he's a fag' blogs online so I'm satisfied at where we're at, But whatever it is, key is you NEED to talk, only way

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Dec. 22, 2009