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Are you expected to do it all yourself?

Well I am & I'm sick of it! My husband "loves" Christmas, so I go out of my way to give him his holiday even though he doesn't participate in his religion in any other way (btw, I'm Jewish & we've raised our son Jewish). DH wants cookies, so I bake them. He wants a tree, so I decorate it (all snowmen & no creche - it's our compromise). He wants gifts for his family & I'm expected to buy them & wrap them. If I don't do all of this stuff, he becomes unbearable to live with! I honestly don't mind doing it for him, but when I ask for some help, he should be at least willing to help, right? I mean, it's not like I'm telling him to do it all himself & he's been laid off for 2 wks, so it's not like he's tired from work, either. If he does lift a finger to help, it's grudgingly and only after 15 minutes of arguing w/him.

It's not like I don't have better things to do & since this is all for him, I think he should help. Do you?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Dec. 21, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (6)
  • Of course he should! he is not a child he should help out period.

    Answer by MoMoFu at 11:36 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • we're in the same boat.. except i'm not jewish... i don't mind doing pretty much all the work (except the lugging up our stairs of the tree) but c'mon show me SOME appreciation

    Answer by marchma2b at 11:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • Of course he should help if you are doing it because he wants you to. Now me, I LOVE Christmas and the decorating and shopping and cooking/baking that goes along with it. DH loves Christmas, but he could do without all the decorations and shopping and presents lol. Not the food so much, he loves good food! So he will help with decorations if it's something I physically can't do, and he does take the kids to shop for my gifts from them, and he does help with the cooking, but he doesn't go out of his way to become involved in the parts he doesn't care about. Which is perfectly fine with me :-) But yes if you are doing it for him, he should help.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:54 PM on Dec. 21, 2009

  • No trust me it can be WORSE when they help out. I have to go around after him fixing what he screws up. He brought the tree in and knocked it through the window so I spent the entire afternoon cleaning glass up out of a tree, the floor, the walls it was everywhere while he fixed the window then I had to put the tree up myself anyway. All because HE insists on a real tree instead of a fake one. Then I have to clean up the damn pine needles and water it of course. Then he wraps presents with me and it looks like a two year old did it. He uses like a whole roll of wrapping paper on one gift thats the size of a dvd. He "helps" with baking which means we make four batches because he can't read instructions. I mean seriously you might just have it easier doing it yourself. lol You can't win for losing!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • My husband doesn't do a lot, he does shop for my gift, he puts the lights on the tree. My sons went and got the tree this year, they helped decorate. 18 year old helped wrap gifts, and is helping me bake this week. 20 year old will help out with last minute cleaning and cleaning up after. Until they were older it all fell on me. I don't know why men think they don't have to help. On Christmas day, my husband opens gifts takes pictures and watches while I wait on everyone. Thanksgiving as well. He's getting a little better, I think the boys are shaming him!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:56 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Especially since you compromised and agreed to celebrate a holiday you don't believe in. He should absolutely help you and be grateful you are willing!

    Answer by RutterMama at 10:43 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

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