Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you still give a total disrespectful 15 year old gifts for Christmas??

So my son is totally out of control! he is not listening, talking back so much that I just want to smack him!, he doesnt give a crap about anyone but himself lately. I just put another post a few minutes ago about me being confused as to put him in juvi or not....( please read that before you read this, so you will know why I am asking this question now) I explained what is going on in detail in my other post.
Anyways, do I give him his gifts. Or do I just let my other well behaved children have theirs? Would that be mean of me, would it be wrong? please read the other post before you say anything so you can understand just what it is that he is doing. ;) thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • THE OTHER POST SAYS.............When do you say enough is enough?...................
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • If he disrespects you, then giving him a gift would only encourage more disobediance. If you bought him a big ticket item (a video game system) then take it back. Rewarding disobediance isn't a good thing. Should you for go gifts all together for him? That is up to you. If I was dealing with this, I would give them a receipt from a charity and tell them you donated money in their name to the charity, the money you would have spent on them. It teaches a lesson in charity and that they should be humble.
    sadchildlessme

    Answer by sadchildlessme at 3:31 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Nope.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • No. You don't give him "toys". You give him clothes and things he NEEDS. Also, send him to military school or boot camp. There isn't anything else you can do. My dad sent my sister to juvi around this age and it did change her around and scare the crap outta her but she STILL hates him for it and its been almost ten years. but imo teens are more mature now a days, and I think he will only act out more. What kind of people does he hangout with? What kind of neighborhood do you live in? What high school just lets a child walk out? I know my school had at least one police officer on site at all times during school hours. But, if it doesnt work, take him to Maury Povich. He needs a reality check BIG time. And defying his mother DOES NOT make him big n bad. Let him get a chance in REAL prison. Then he can see what big n bad really are. I'm really sorry you have to do this to your child, i know itd be hard for me. good luck!!! =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 3:37 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Give him the needed things. Clothing, shoes, etc...
    I agree with Mommykayi, what kind of neighborhood do you live, who are his friends? Our high school has an on site police officer to handle such things as this. Get him in a scared straight program. Work hand in hand with the school and his PO. It may require you to be there more and not go to school yourself till he is straightened out. I am not judging you in anyway but my sister had to do the same thing for a while with her son. Till he got it in his head that she was going to be there along with the PO and the school to make sure he was where he needed to be. You will have to go to his appointments with him to make sure he is where he has to be. My sister did not call it putting her life on hold but making sure he knew that she would be in his face when he didn't give a crap about anyones life. Good luck Mom, go with him to those appts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I agree with the other posts. You should give him a gift but it should be needed items. The gift in itself tells him you love him no matter what but that you aren't going to make his disrespect easy. I would get him the gift of a teenage behavior bootcamp. A lot of times they have no clue how easy they really have life until they see what it could be like. Send him to bootcamp a disciplinary military school something because he will just get worse.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:29 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Oh yeah and some small towns have ranches and farms that do behavior modification mixed with hard work those programs are extremely effective I would like to see him get in the face of a ranch hand and see how big and bad he feels then. He needs to realized he is not the shit that he is a little jerk and that life doesnt look kindly on his actions.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:32 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I agree just get him some clothes, School supplies, and a hug and a kiss. tell him you love him. But he's got to learn to respect you more. or your going to have to send him to boot camp. to learn some good respect. And then tell him and maybe next year I'll get you something more fun like a vedio game , or whatever he's into at that point. if I get the respect Im looking for. for Christmas.But you have to stick to your guns for that resect issue.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:45 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't have the heart to not give him any gifts, but I would only give him practical gifts, like clothes, socks, underwear, toothbrush, personal hygenine things.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 10:26 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Yes. Christmas and birthday gifts are not tied into behavior. That being said, I wouldn't spend a lot on him and I would take them away as soon as he opened them and tell him that when he is respectful, he can earn them back. I would also take everything out of his room but his bed and books. He then has to earn everything back by being respectful. Do not do anything for him, he is old enough to wash his own clothes and cook his own meals. If he wants to be disrespectful, then let him do everything for himself. No rides to his friends,etc. Only to school.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN