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Help with a guest bringing an uninvited/unwanted extra guest!

This is sort of long, bare with me... We're having a party at our small apartmnt. A 20's themed party, which I picked bc my best friend thought it would be fun. My husband&I have 2 boys 3&5, who may be there if we can't find a babysitter. But will be invisible as possible during the party. Bc the party is an adult night for my husband&I. It's for us to enjoy adult conversation and fun. My single, childless Best Friend is now asking to bring her 12yr old nephew. This is the Best Friend the whole party was themed for. She's giving me the ultimatum. The 12 yr old comes or I don't. But its not a party for a 12yr old who's going to want to be in conversations, play games, etc. That's not what our nights about. So my hubby&I said no. But the whole party will be ruined without my Best Friend there. What do I do? Am I being overdramatic about it? I feel like my hubby&I deserve our grownup night. They don't happen often.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Let the 12 year old watch your kids. Pay him for it. Let them watch movies in your room.

    Answer by mompam at 12:02 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I agree with mompam. Make lemonade out of a lemon situation. It's all good

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:04 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I'd tell her she can bring him. But I'd make it clear to her that there will not be other children there for him to play with & he's likely to be bored out of his mind, so she would be wise to bring items for him to entertain himself with in another room. (i.e. video games he can play on the TV in the bedroom or something along those lines) And ask her if she really wants him to be exposed to the adult conversations, etc. that are likely to take place.

    Answer by Mary229 at 12:06 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Why does her nephew need to be there? Does he live with her? You're not being mean by keeping it an adult party. Your kids being there is one thing. They live there and a sitter cannot always be found. She knew it was an adult party if she helped plan it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I would ask her that since she isn't coming could she babysit for me so Hub and I could have a child-free evening for once. I mean, since she won't be able to come anyway, why not? It's your house, your party. It is very rude of HER to give you an ultimatum about whether or not her 12 yr old nephew barges into your party. Does she have NO manners at all? It's not like he could be her DATE. I'd tell her to stay home then. But that's just me.


    Answer by SimplyLaine at 12:13 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I don't see why she NEEDS to bring the nephew with her. I think it was rude of her to suggest it, let alone give you an ultimatum. She's being unreasonable and I think she should understand that. However, you could do what a PP suggested and have the 12 year old babysit the younger kids while the part goes on. I personally think the friend should understand that she knew there would be no kids, and she doesn't need to cause unneeded drama on behalf of him.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:14 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Well I don't agree with her giving you an ultimatum, screw that! That is wrong.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • i think its wrong of her but i do agree with letting her bring him, you can still enjoy your party the deal is he is to babysit your kids and you will pay him for it and they are to stay in the bedroom watching movies, once your kids have gone to bed he can stay in your room watching tv or if he has a laptop he can bring or video games or something, i always welcome kids at my parties and figure out a way to keep them out of the way during the party, most of my friends have kids now and wouldnt be able to come otherwise

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:11 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I would not let anyone that I do not know watch my 3 and 5 year old, so I would tell my friend that she should pass on the party.

    Answer by donzgurl at 4:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

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